CHAT - Steps without Stigma - On Hiatus until after Labor Day!

[ADMIN]

Will start up after Labor Day with a new format. See you then!

Live chat for Steps without Stigma will be starting on Monday, December 21. It will take place each Monday from 8:30 to 10:30 pm, Eastern Time.
(7:30 to 9:30 Central; 6:30 to 8:30 Mountain; 5:30 to 7:30 Pacific)

The steps will be discussed in order (1 step a week – maybe two –depending on the needs of everyone) and will repeat the cycle after all 12 have been discussed. It is more of a "study" format and not to discuss your personal step work - a real life sponsor is suggested for that.

The forum will be used for questions and concerns either coming from chat or in general. After chat, that step can be further discussed in the 'Chat sticky'.

This chat is specifically for discussing the 12-steps. If you have any non-12 step questions/comments, either post on main forum:
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...splay.php?f=47

Or there are chats 3 other nights that you can attend.
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=20288


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• The format we use is one in which everyone takes turns having the 'floor'.

• This avoids cross conversations that make it confusing.

• The order is the order in which people arrive to chat.

• So that everyone has time for the floor, 'Doors' will close 15 minutes before the end of chat.

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You can get into chat by clicking this link:

http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/chat.cfm

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Here's a link to a time zone map, in case anyone needs it.
http://files.meetup.com/1071775/Time%20Zone%20Map.jpg

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Your username can't have any spaces in it. If it does, please email us and we'll change it for you. Click here to email

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You need java to participate: http://java.com/en/

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Thanks!

[OhioMike]

Please forgive me, I meant to place the post below, into this folder when posting it and failed to do so.

Our first Step Chat will be tomorrow evening (12/21/09), beginning at 8:30 to 10:30 pm, Eastern Time.
(7:30 to 9:30 Central; 6:30 to 8:30 Mountain; 5:30 to 7:30 Pacific)

Our goal is to begin to help those wishing to work this step, get a start on it and then to use the message forum to expand on it, per each persons needs.

Please understand, the step will which is being worked on, during any given week will be addressed as it is taught in the Big Book of AA, but, without any stigma which can be ran across in some live meeting 12 step rooms across the nation.

Our goal is to aid individuals in finding their own workable paths to the steps, regardless of their personal beliefs, be that the belief that medical aids are important in their personal recovery plan or be that be if they simply are a non spiritual person and finds the spirituality of the program as a road block, in the past.

As we want to be true to the AA message and Traditions, we also wish to be open minded and have an open heart to help those who find worthy things in the steps, find ways to make the steps become a positive force in their personal recovery.

Tomorrow we will be focusing on step 1 ............. we will announce each week prior to the Monday chat which step will be discussed, as some steps will require more than one chat.

This venture is new to all of us, so please, be tolerant of each other and remember, the goal is to be productive and positive, while learning to embrace the steps with our own recovery plan.

Tang and I are very excited about this, as we hope you are! So please, join us with a open heart and a open mind and let's enjoy the steps together, as we grow together in recovery!


Mike

[OhioMike]

Tang (Ang) and I would like to thank those who made it to the first Steps w/o Stigma Chat this evening!

It was very productive, most enjoyable and fun!

The first step was well covered and very inspiring stories were shared by all.

Next Monday we will be chatting about Step 2, so we hope to see everyone again and maybe some new faces as well.

Again, thanks so much for making this first chat really special.

Tang (Ang) & Mike

[amb128]

Omike and Ang-just wanted to tell you both thanks. I learned a lot from the chat last night. Not only what the first step means, but how to apply it in my daily life.

[OhioMike]

Hi Alene ............. hey, thank you! ............. by being there and taking part, you helped make it a success and it was the kind of chat (meeting) which everyone contributed and everyone could take something useful and positive from. So thank you!

With all that has been going on in my life in the recent weeks, I needed a meeting and powerless was a hit home topic, one which I always need to hear about and you helped me personally in that process!

Mike

[OhioMike]

Hey Survivors!

Tonight 12/28/09 the Steps Chat will be on Step #2 ............. So please stop by and join in.

Last week was our first go at this and it was wonderful with a lot of really good sharing and understanding taking place.

Tang & Mike

[OhioMike]

I want to apologize to those in chat last night for needing to bail out early. My FIL is doing pretty well, but, the center he is at is simply not tending to his needs properly and yesterday my wife was dealing with that. Anyway, after she closed the business last night she needed me to get some paper work rounded up for her and she needed me to copy some information off the web so she could take it down there when she went to visit him.

Though we had a small group last night, again, just like last week the conversation was really, really good. Very open, very honest and with no stigma at all, just a lot of good personal sharing and understanding.

Mike

[OhioMike]

Hi Survivors!

This Monday's chat will be on

Step #3
"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."

Please come and join in the sharing, learning and understanding.

1/4/2010 ........ 8:30 to 10:30 pm, Eastern Time.
(7:30 to 9:30 Central; 6:30 to 8:30 Mountain; 5:30 to 7:30 Pacific)

Mike

[OhioMike]

Tang ............ per your story last night in chat about what took place at your business, let me share these two recent stories!

Yesterday one of the servers got to work 10 minutes late. Then 40 minutes later while I'm cooking I see a food check come through with her name on it. So it's ten till noon, we in the middle of lunch, she came to work 10 minutes late and 40 minutes later she is trying to get something to eat for herself, while she is on the time clock. lol

So I called her into the back and tried to see if she could figure out what was wrong with that picture! I didn't have any luck, she couldn't figure it out on her own, so I had to explain it in terms for dummies!

Then the other week one of the cooks came to me and asked if we could chat. I said sure, what's up? He said well I really think I need a raise. I said you do? He said, I really do! I said well this is good and I'm glad that you brought it to my attention. I said the economy is terrible and I have been trying to figure out the best places for me to reduce our overhead. So I will take your concerns into consideration on this and if I don't get back to you in a couple of days, please remind me so I can address this with you!

Well it has been a few weeks now and he has forgot to mention it to me again! LOL

So hang in there Tang, your not alone! haha

Mike

[gotitang]

That's a great story mike! I wish I had your cool. I on the other hand handled it badly! I got really intense and looking back I am embarrassed! lol

[virginmary83]

Post moved to:

http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=23894

for better visibility.

[OhioMike]

In step chat we began by chatting about feelings. Those feeling surrounding true surrender and powerlessness, as it pertains to this disease of addiction.

From there the discussion got off into other more specific and important issues, but, I wanted to revisit what we began with. Feelings, oh those wonderful feelings.

When we begin to enter recovery our emotions can simply go insane on us. We think our past active addiction actions were insane, hell, they can be trivial compared to our emotions early in recovery. We can try to hide it, we can try to ignore it, but, we all know its true, man, woman or in between, we are simply a mess at times!

Further these emotions can stem from every aspect of our lives. New feelings, old feelings, spiteful feelings, insecure feelings, feelings from our childhood and feelings from the future which hasn't even happened yet! That's right, we are one big ball of screwed up, messed up, mixed up emotions, feelings!

What I don't think we completely realize early enough though is how important these feelings are at this particular time and how dangerous they are. Time after time too many of fail, stumble and fall during these early weeks and months of recovery, only to come back and try it again. We are told that's OK, don't worry about it, its part of the process! Well its true, that "can" be part of the process, but, does it have to be?

We hear oh don't worry you will work through those feelings, its all part of the process! This too shall pass, yada, yada yada! ......... What if it doesn't pass? what if we fall before it passes? Further, who the hell sets the rules that it has to be part of the process? Do we really have to feel this way in order to get better? Well yes we do, to a point and that is the point of this post. Yes, we have to cross this threshold of mixed up emotions, but, I don't believe that we have to suffer endlessly to get through it.

I don't buy into this premises that we have to lay and roll in our own shit for a period of unknown time, just to own it or to understand it. Just to open the door to true healing and recovery! I mean come on, haven't we already done that? Haven't we already suffered enough?

I do believe however that we must find true honesty with ourselves, about ourselves. That we must surrender our heart, to our soul and if we can do that, then we can begin to work on these emotions not only in a productive and proactive fashion, but, in a way in which we can enjoy life in the process.

I fail to accept that surrender and powerlessness has to be about struggle, shame, guilt and merely sad feelings to wade through. I believe that as these things need to be addressed that we can do so with the hope, joy and life of today for a better tomorrow, living on day at a time, with the opportunity to live that again, the day after!

In step chat we had some of these emotions going on and I would like to open this thread to those who need it to work through those feelings and who feel they would like to get introduced to how the 12 steps can help them in that process.

Mike

[jenealle]

I thank you for all you do Mike...You know like I said in chat I have no one to talk to, no one to tell that I am even on sub or trying to get better,I have been on it for a year and not one person knows...I have always had a hard time with feelings and I take everything people say, and don't say so personal.I have read every self help book out there thinking this time this one is going to help and I will finally feel as if I am worth a shit,but it doesn't.I know that all the crap that is in me stems from my crappy childhood and I would love to purge all of it out although I cant figure out how.I get so mad at me because... I would never ever talk to anther human being the way I talk to myself...anyways lately I just think I gotta accept that it will be like this, because I have no other way out of it.So I dont know I am glad I went to chat and thank you again for all you do.

[OhioMike]

Hi Jenealle ......... Hey, I sure don't have any answers, but, I sure wish I did. So I promise to not act as though I have answers, but, I will always try to share what has ever worked for us, our family and I will always listen with a caring ear.

I know this, we (all of us) cannot give up when faced with problems like this. In turn, we cannot chase our tail and let it drive us up a tree. We need to pace ourselves the best we can and try as hard as it can be, to take little bits of it at a time and work on them. It can be so consuming that in totality hell we can't deal with it. Its tough but if we can pick out little bits, little things to work on, then maybe, just maybe we can gain a few small successes which give us the motivation, emotions and the will to conquer another little part of it.

I do want to say this Jenealle, your working recovery and bettering yourself, so please, please don't ever discount that, how brave, how important that is and how very special a person is when they do that!

Remember this and please believe me, it is true, though we can never control another persons feelings, no matter how close they are to us, we can learn to control our own and how we react to others emotions and that Jenealle is a huge, huge step forward and very, very important and meaningful.

Anyway's, we are all hear for you and we are here because we care! So don't ever feel as though what your feeling is not meaningful or important, OK?

Mike

[cleminole]

Can you please tell me what step you are on and when it will be possible to join. I would be step 1.

Thanks

[OhioMike]

Hi there, I just responded to your other post, but, you can join in at anytime in chat, please don't feel that you have to wait until the beginning again.

We have a format, but in turn we are very flexable and will back track as needed for anyones needs.

I'm glad you found us!

Mike

[OhioMike]

cleminole, hey I apologize, it was not your post I responded to in another thread. But the answer is the same so at least I got that part right! lol

Please join in Chat, first it won't matter what step your on, we will still be there to help you! Second, hey good timing, as we are about ready to begin the Step Cycle over again!

I hope to see you Monday evening, have a GREAT weekend.

Mike

[wandi67]

Hi i would like to join the step chats can you assist me with some direction

[NancyB]

Hi wandi67, step chat is on Monday nights. Just follow the instructions in the first post. It starts at 8:30 eastern time.

Nancy

[banannahead22]

I am not really ready to attend local meetings since I am still doing suboxone off the street until I get to a doctor. Am I able to join in this chat anyway?

[NancyB]

Hi banannahead22, you're most certainly welcome to the steps chat. It starts in a couple of minutes.

Enjoy!

Nancy

[FuzzyBunny]

Every time I try to follow the link it shuts my Internet down? Any ideas?
Fuzzy

[NancyB]

Hi Fuzzy, do you have your computer set to allow pop ups? Also, I need to change your name so it doesn't have a space in it - for some reason the chat software doesn't like spaces in the name. Do you prefer FuzzyBunny or Fuzzy_Bunny? Let me know and I'll change it and then you'll have to log in again under that.

Nancy

[FuzzyBunny]

Thanks Nancy. It probably is the popup settings, so I'll change that. I guess I'll go with FuzzyBunny. Go ahead and change it and I'll log in again.
Fuzzy

[NancyB]

Ok, Fuzzy, I'm going to do that right now.

Nancy