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Unread 08-23-2009, 10:37 PM   #101
CarlyO
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Hi Laura ,

Thanks for the update, it sounds like you have realized a more Realistic path to recovery, we do not have to perfect right this second, hence "work in progress" ! Yes, those are awesome goals to reach for, but easy does it !

I have known people who have had severe case of Pnumonia , - they said it can take a while to recover from, physically and mentally- and look at what what all you are juggling while trying to get better : job, kids, meetings, new G-baby ! It has been less than one month since the illness,so try to get some rest !
Take care of yourself physically and maybe the rest will fall into in place.

I am so happy to hear about the new baby, enjoy her : )
Hang in there, you have a great attitude and that will take you very far !
Take care of yourself, Carly : )
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Unread 08-24-2009, 08:17 PM   #102
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Hello Laura-
It looks like you set some pretty high standards for yourself, nothing wrong with trying to be the best we can be- but, "Perfectionism becomes a badge of honor with you playing the part of the suffering hero." Don't try so hard, you will surely crash.
Who doesn't have trust issues these days? This world is full of crazies. I live a pretty small existence today, but it is OK. I love my life the way it is.I think part of the problem for me was expecting too much from people who simply did not know how to be human.I loved the insanity of the world when I was using, now it drives me NUTS! Could it be that I have grown up? I still enjoy having fun, just not in insane ways.
The best to you and your family!
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Unread 09-03-2009, 11:30 AM   #103
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Laura,

HI - I'm new here and have read all your posts - you are an ispiration.

Kids are great aren't they. I have a 10 year old daughter. I gave her a goodnight kiss after putting her to bed and it brought a small smile to her face. It made me feel good to see she felt good.

Regards,
Dave
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Unread 09-06-2009, 02:06 AM   #104
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Hello Everyone,

Just checking in and giving you an update.

As you have all read the last month or so has been very difficult. I just wasn't shaking the pneumonia or all the strong emotional feelings. I have felt alone and adrift. But I kept thinking the longer I stayed away from the alcohol all would right itself. I made yet another appointment with a doctor and had a full physical. The doctor told me that in his opinion I was severely depressed. I have battled depression on and off during my life so this should not have surprised me, but it did. (perhaps this is what I was self medicating with the drugs and alcohol)Something about the doctor saying it out loud really crushed me. I had some very dark days. So I started taking Prozac.This was almost two weeks ago. As far as I am concerned Prozac is my new favorite drug. I have more energy that ever, my mind has virtually stopped obsessing on past sins, and I feel really good. Like now I can move on.

I know this post is rather dark but I thought if one person can relate to it then this story is worth telling.

Laura
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Unread 09-06-2009, 12:15 PM   #105
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Hi Laura,

I am so glad you were persistent and went back to the doctor. Many people have had underlying issues with depression or other MH issues, and it becomes sort of which came first ...Depression or self medicating ?Sometimes we may never know, but for me being off all substances including my AD for many months and still having those bouts of crying jags and feeling like a puzzle that was missing pieces was a good indicator that I was facing depression.

I also have dealt with it - since my teenage years and have to be diligent about watching myself, if I am doing what I need to for my recovery and still have that sadness that I can't shake off, mood swings, then it is time to seek help and get back on ADs. Somehow, after all these years, I forget that my depression is cyclical, and I d/c the AD when I feel better - bad move on my part, so to stay on an even keel, I stay on a low dose of AD consistently.

This is Great news that you are feeling better already! Did you read the info about PAWS that Jerry posted ? It does all seem to fit, doesn't it, the possibilty of effects from PAWS, the bout of pnemonia, all while trying to juggle everything on your plate.
I hope as the weeks pass you will feel much better, both emotionally and physically. Most of all you made a very wise decision, when in doubt, seek help until you find a solution that works for you!

I think this is a very helpful and valid post , thank you for sharing it !
Keep us updated and hope you have a great day !
Take care, Carly : )
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Unread 09-06-2009, 10:52 PM   #106
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Laura,
I am really happy that you are feeling better with your medication.You can almost guarantee that you were self medicating your depression, many people end up doing it because it is allot easier than opening a can of worms with a doctor or therapist.There is also the issue of trust, depression makes trusting others difficult.You did the right thing by getting a physical.Did they do bloodwork to check your vitamin levels? Many times women experience low iron or vitamin c and any less than what we require can cause significant changes in mood or overall health!
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Unread 09-06-2009, 11:31 PM   #107
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Laura, Continued good luck on your recovery form alcoholism & depression. I have suffered from both for many years. I do take the depression medications as prescribed. R. Lee
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Unread 09-19-2009, 11:35 AM   #108
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Hi Laura,

How are you doing ? Hope things are getting better each day !
Take care, Carly : )
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Unread 09-25-2009, 03:20 PM   #109
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Hello Carly,
Thanks for checking on me. Currently I am still experiencing health issues. I am scared shitless. The doctors are running more tests to try to figure out what is wrong with me.
I am holding my sobriety very close at this time. I am continuing to go to meetings and talking to my sponsor and praying all day long for the strength to see me through this time. I am now the secretary of the Thursday night meeting. I start next week. I know right now if I don't have a commitment I won't go.
Hopefully all will turn out well. But the waiting is the hardest part.

Laura
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Unread 09-26-2009, 12:48 PM   #110
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Hi Laura,

I am so sorry you are continuing to have health issues, I hope you get some answers soon. It must be frustrating waiting to find out. Good for you to volunteer to be Secretary, lean on your group, they will support you.
I pray that all turns out fine, let us know when you can, sending thoughts and prayers your way. Take care, Carly : )
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Unread 09-26-2009, 09:06 PM   #111
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Laura, I'm to concerned about your health issues.

You are working the program very well by not just hanging around it but by being invoved in it.

You have a lot on your plate. Take it 1 day at a time. Turn over what you are not in control of & keep posting.

R. Lee
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Unread 09-27-2009, 03:11 PM   #112
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Hi-
I will keep you in my thoughts also.Did you get the vitamin levels checked out by chance? I am asking again because I developed iron deficiency anemia and was completely unaware of it til they checked.I had to go in and get iron through an I.V. I hope you feel better soon, and congrats on the secretary gig!
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Unread 09-27-2009, 03:50 PM   #113
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Hello Everyone,

I truly appreciate you support and prayers.
Magda, I have had just about every blood know to man and they all seem to come back fine. The problem I am experiencing is that they found an "Oval mass" in my chest and they don't know what is is. It could be in my lungs or on my heart. Many many tests in my future. I am praying and holding on to the hope that it is easily fixed. I know it is the human condition that your mind heads straight to doom and gloom. I think God is showing me how much I can handle without picking up a drink. The first day I found out, drinking seemed like a really good idea. But I knew that it would not help anything and probably make things worse.
Last night I was the speaker at the meeting. This is a first for me especially since I still don't really share at group level very much. The reception was overwhelming. I was given so much hope and love it almost made me cry. I am grateful to be in this program. I will rely on the strength of the group to help me through these trying times.

Thank you all for listening. I find it very helpful to talk about these things.

Laura
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Unread 09-27-2009, 09:58 PM   #114
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Way to work the program Laura!!!
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Unread 10-03-2009, 03:24 PM   #115
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraC View Post
Hello Everyone,

I truly appreciate you support and prayers.
I have had just about every blood know to man and they all seem to come back fine. The problem I am experiencing is that they found an "Oval mass" in my chest and they don't know what is is. It could be in my lungs or on my heart. Many many tests in my future. I am praying and holding on to the hope that it is easily fixed. I know it is the human condition that your mind heads straight to doom and gloom. I think God is showing me how much I can handle without picking up a drink. The first day I found out, drinking seemed like a really good idea. But I knew that it would not help anything and probably make things worse.
Last night I was the speaker at the meeting. This is a first for me especially since I still don't really share at group level very much. The reception was overwhelming. I was given so much hope and love it almost made me cry. I am grateful to be in this program. I will rely on the strength of the group to help me through these trying times.

Thank you all for listening. I find it very helpful to talk about these things.

Laura
Laura I just saw your post today, I am sorry I missed it before.
I know this is a scary time, but reading your posts I can't help but think that had you not stopped drinking, your symptoms would have been missed. Alcohol and substances have been known mask underlying medical issues. I think you have a great attitude, you are right drinking is not the answer, it will only complicate matters. I can imagine it is frustrating not knowing, hang in there, and please keep writing about it if it helps. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your doctors.

I am so PROUD of you for sharing at the meeting like that !! and so thankful that you have found support through your group. It is a good feeling to know that they truly care about you. I am sure many of them have faced medical issues in sobriety and will be there to walk you through it, lean on them for support now more than ever. You can get through this, allow others to be there for you.

Laura, you have come such a long way. Let us know if we can help in any way possible. Sending prayers to you, take care, Carly
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Unread 10-21-2009, 11:00 PM   #116
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Laura,
I just finished reading all your posts. How are you?
You had some health issues the last time you posted - Just worried a little because I haven't seen you post since.

Wishing you the best.

Regards
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Unread 10-24-2009, 07:39 PM   #117
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Hello Everyone,

How are all of you doing?

My health has been a big issue lately, But I am feeling much better. The doctors are still poking around looking for something. It should all be over soon.
During this time it was STRONGLY recommended to me to quit smoking. I thought ok, right. I was so stressed and afraid that I joined Nicotine anonymous and did it. I have been sober for 6 1/2 months and nicotine free 26 days. My GOD quitting smoking is hard.
I am really starting to enjoy my time with AA. I go to several meetings a week and grateful to be of service at two of them. When I first started AA I really had no concept of GOD. Now I find HIM of great comfort and almost companionship. To follow the 12 steps and traditions is making my life a better place to be. It is so hard to describe. I am sure some of you will know what I mean.
I hope you are all happy and well.

Laura
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Unread 10-24-2009, 11:46 PM   #118
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Laura, Way to work the program. Congratulation on quitting smoking.
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Unread 10-25-2009, 03:48 PM   #119
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Dear Laura,

Stopping smoking is an incredible accomplishment ! As someone who has still not stopped but needs to desperately - you are an inspiration to me !
It seems from your post that in spite of these troubling health issues, you are working your program and hopefully it is providing you with a sense of peace and serenity.

Thank you for posting an update, it is good to know how you are doing. I do pray that they find the answers very soon. Hang in there and we are always here for you if you ever need us. Take care Laura and again, Huge Props to you on beating the nicotine !
Carly : )
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Unread 11-12-2009, 12:09 PM   #120
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Hi Laura - Just wanted to say hello and that I hope all is well with you.
Take care, Carly : )
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Unread 12-02-2009, 02:16 PM   #121
LauraC
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Hello Carly and everyone,

I am looking forward to the new year as a new person. I can feel the transformation in everything I do. I am in love with AA and all the thing it has taught me. The biggest one being rejoining the world of the living and interacting with people. (And liking it )
The have gotten to the bottom of my health issues and all is well.
I have 65 days not smoking. Its still a challenge. But I feel great.
My grand daughter is the joy of my life.

I am being encouraged at this time to give back and help others who are still suffering. I hardly feel qualified but they assure me that I am. This scares me but I remember how lost and alone I was the first time I walked into a meeting. So if I can help someone feel better then it will be worth it.

I hope you all have a blessed holiday season.

Laura


PS For me this web site was the starting point. You all gave me the courage and support to try. And for that I am grateful.
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Unread 12-02-2009, 02:59 PM   #122
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Laura,

You are an inspiration to me!

Congratulations not only on your success in sobriety, but also for once again finding happiness in yourself and the things you do.

IT's a relief to hear your health scare has been resolved. I'm sure that was stressful for you while waiting for test results.

Best wishes
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Unread 12-02-2009, 05:59 PM   #123
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Laura, Congratulations on everything that is going on in your life. 12 step work is as simple as posting here for the alcoholic who still suffers. They can see that sobriety can change your life. It was suggested to me that I share at meetings, lead meetings, make coffee & carry the message to those who wanted it. I think you are capable of all this & more.
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Unread 01-30-2010, 08:04 PM   #124
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Talking Hello to all!!

Hello Carly, R.Lee and Saint,


It has been a long time since I have posted. But I think of you guys often.
My life is going great. I have 9 3/4 months sobriety. (I don't know why it is so important for me to count) I feel great, I look much better. I have learned so many valuable life lessons in AA. The lesson that I have been learning is how to manage my own life calmly and happily. I used to be so isolated. So when any thing happened I would get upset, drink more and be resentful. To get rid of the resentments and take a calm approach to my life has made me a new person. Don't get me wrong I am not skipping through a field of daisys. I live a real life with real stress, real joy and most thing still go wrong. But I handle it differently and sanely. I love sobriety.

I hope all of you are happy, joyous and free.

Laura
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Unread 01-31-2010, 12:19 AM   #125
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Laura,

You go girl!

You sound terrific, happy, joyous, and free!! : ). You'll have to forgive my blatant plagiarism. The words just seem to fit.

It's great to hear you doing so well. I was thinking tonight how nice it would be to have 5 years under my belt but I reminded myself not to wish my life away. There are plenty of reasons to live for today. Sobriety is one of them.....


Regards
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Unread 01-31-2010, 04:42 PM   #126
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Hi Laura, so great to see an update from you and glad that all is going so well. Keep moving forward and take care , Carly : )
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Unread 02-01-2010, 04:18 PM   #127
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Laura, Way to go. I love that you say you have 9 & 3/4 months than I'm coming up on 10 months. Way to stay into today.

Saint, Would be better to say we never drank as a alcoholic. It took what it took to get to where we are today. I'm thankful for where I an today. It is great to be sober this time of day.
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Unread 06-15-2010, 01:01 PM   #128
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Hello everyone,

Since I have not written in a long time, I thought I would check in and say "HI"

I have been sober 14 months now. I never thought I could do it!!!

the journey from drunk to sober has not been an easy one. But so worth it. I can't say that I am a totally different person. But I am OK being me. I can be proud of my actions.

To all the new people my best advice to getting sober is get a support group, become involved in your sobriety be proactive. Quitting on your own is nearly impossible.(this is my experience)

Hope you all are Happy and Well
Laura
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Unread 06-15-2010, 01:18 PM   #129
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Thank you Laura for your post. It gives me hope for my son Mike who right now is chooseing not to be sober. Best of luck to you each day you enjoy sobriety. Hugs, Marilyn
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Unread 06-15-2010, 01:42 PM   #130
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LauraC, In my program we strive for progress not perfection. The only step we have to work 100% is the 1st.
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Unread 06-15-2010, 10:27 PM   #131
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Laura,

It's great to hear from you and hear that you are doing so well. Your statement "I am OK being me" resonates with me. I've reached the point where I realize I am not perfect and am OK with that, well most times anyways : ). I've often wondered how you're doing and how life has been treating you. You had become sober a few months before I and I recall reading all your posts during my early days of sobriety. I would read your posts and think "She's x amount of days sober, I can be there soon too". So you have been an inspiration for me and I am happy for you.

Congratulations!!!

Saint
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Unread 06-16-2010, 09:32 PM   #132
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Laura, I'm embarrassed by my short & to the point post yesterday about progress not perfection.
You have so much to be proud of. You are probably in the same support group as I am. You are so right to say quitting on your own is nearly impossible.
Congratulations you do us proud!
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Unread 06-17-2010, 10:03 PM   #133
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Congrats Laura !

Thank you so much for checking in - so happy for you !!! Keep going strong-
Carly : )
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