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Unread 10-07-2016, 01:18 PM   #1
mommyofjw
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Talking New here. Looking for some advice😊

Hello all. I've read so many posts from this site once I found it a few days ago. I thought I would share my story and get some advice too. I was addicted to oxy's from about 2001 until October 28th 2008 when I entered into treatment at a methadone clinic. It was honestly a lifesaver at the time. My problem was I stayed on the methadone too long. Until basically September 25, 2016 which was just a few weeks ago. As per the norm for where I lived when I started at the methadone clinic I came in at 30mg/fat but quickly moved right on up to 90mg/day and that's where I stopped requesting increases. Well somehow over the years I got my take homes and really wouldn't take them all and that's all I'll say on that. So for the last at least five years here was my dosing schedule on I would go to clinic one day a week to pick up so that day I had to face dose my full 90mg then I would go the next day without taking any. Then the next three days I would split a bottle 30mgs a day then I would split a bottle the next two days at 45 mg a day. Then I would go back to clinic next day and start the process again. This went on September 16th. I wasn't able to get my take homes so I just went every day and face dosed my full 90mg. I did that for a week and basically slept the week away. And as you can see from my user name I'm a mommy. I have two school age children. I wasn't being fair to them plus I had become a shell of myself on methadone. My husband shared my oxy addiction and started the clinic when I did but he was only there two years when he detoxed out. He is now a successful suboxone patient. So we thought that would be a good choice for me. So I made an appt. not where he goes a place closer to home. We figured he could transfer once I became a patient there. I told the doc going back to clinic to taper down wasn't an option because I figured that I pretty much was. She saw me on a Saturday and told me to come back Thursday so that I would be far enough into withdrawal and they would monitor me in office for induction. So I show up Thursday. I was pretty sick. She decided to prescribe me one subutex that day. So I go get it and go back to office and take 1/4 of it. Needless to say within the hour I'm in precipitated withdrawal. She decides that since the methadone clinic has already closed for the day that she would prescribe me my daily dose of methadone to bring me out of it. And she just told me to go back to clinic and taper down to 30mg a day. So of course I feel like I'm dying so I get the methadone filled and I ate 5 of the 10mg tablets. I don't know if that worked because it was subutex or because the prec withdrawals were just running their course. I was pretty rough all that evening. But I was determined not to get back on methadone. So I didn't take anymore of the script and didn't go back to clinic. I waited another week. Two days ago and decided to do an at home induction. I used suboxone this time and started with 1mg of a strip. I did go into prec withdrawal again. It wasn't as intense but I knew since it was suboxone I couldn't use those last few methadone to pull me out. So I just kept slowing taking more suboxone 1mg at a time. It was rough. We have told our kids that I have the flu. I'm on day 3 of suboxone. That first day I ended up taking a total of 12mg. I took the same amount yesterday. So far today I've taken 6mg. Today is the best I've felt since I started but still not great. I have an appt with my husbands doctor this upcoming Tuesday. I feel so week and my legs hurt. I think I have gotten myself really dehydrated. My questions if anyone has made it this far in my story is once I get some fluids in me (I'm drinking Gatorade as I type this) and once I can hopefully get some sleep will I feel steadier and the soreness go out of my legs? And will my body temp get more regulated? It's driving me crazy the hot/cold, hot/cold etc. Just the general achiness. Or is my dose not high enough? Or should I take a little bit more in the morning then take a little in the evening? Any advice will be appreciated.
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Unread 10-07-2016, 03:02 PM   #2
NancyB
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Hi mommyofjw, welcome. Did you happen to see Lyndsay's thread? She recently went from methadone to bupe. Here it is in case you hadn't seen it:
http://addictionsurvivors.org/vbulle...ad.php?t=30373

It can take about a week to stabilize on a dose, so think about continuing with the 12mg a day for a week. Taking another 6mg to equal the 12mg you took yesterday would probably help. Taking it all at the same time is generally better then you kind of take it and forget about it. It has a longer halflife than methadone, so you that should be ok. But if you feel psychologically better splitting it, that's fine too, many people will split it in the beginning and then end up taking it once a day. Just be careful taking it in the afternoon as some people find they don't sleep that well taking it then or later.

Once you're stabilized and feel better, you could try cutting back a little. But don't be surprised if you do need 12mg - or even 16m as Lyndsay ended up at - for a month. You just want to feel 'normal'. Then think about cutting back 2mg if you're ready.

Definitely drink enough water. While gatorade is good, just check to see the sugar content, you don't want to feel worse with a sugar rush then crash.

Hope this is helpful. Keep us posted on how you're doing!

Nancy
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Unread 10-08-2016, 11:25 AM   #3
mommyofjw
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Red face

Thanks Nancy. I'm feeling better this morning. I think the constant hot/cold back and forth has finally subsided. I'm still feeling really weak when I'm up walking around. The prec withdrawals completely drain you physically and I went threw them twice in two weeks time. Something I hope to NEVER go through again. Today I'm going to try and eat a little something. I've got to get my strength back. I have a husband and two children, ages 10 and 6, who depend on me. Around 8am I took about 4-5mg of a strip. I'm going to go take another half now. I'm really thinking I may need to start with a whole strip first thing in the morning then figure out the rest. I guess it's just trial and error. I do know that this was a much better choice than staying at the methadone clinic. I'm so glad you replied to me. Yours was always the response I looked for while reading other people's posts. So thank so much. My husband is super supportive. But his situation with transition from methadone to suboxone was so different than mine. And neither of us were prepared for the hell of prec withdrawal! Hope to hear from you or anyone else soon 😊
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Unread 10-08-2016, 12:27 PM   #4
Sam Bailey
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Hi Mommy!

Welcome to the board.

While 8mgs is quite a lot of Sub (it's a tremendously potent med), I totally agree that you need to stabilize before you even THINK about tapering down.

We here have all endured (suffered!) withdrawals and one thing is for certain: one cannot think too damn clearly when dealing with wd/s. So good, get stable.

As far as Methadone is concerned, you are 100% correct---Sub is far superior. I spent 4.5 years on Methadone Maintenance...and they were not good years. My time on Sub was so much better.

I think you'll find, once you get stable, that you can lower your dose without too much discomfort. Getting down to 2mgs per day is not terrible at all. However, it does get a little tougher going down from there. But not horrible.

The key is to go slow, slow, slow. Take it easy, be kind to yourself. By doing that, you'll also be much kinder to those you love. Besides, before you know it, you'll wake up one morning and need NOTHING to get through your day.

Then yep, you will be free!

Until then, as noted, go slow!

best,

sam
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Unread 10-08-2016, 02:14 PM   #5
NancyB
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Hi mommyofjw, glad you're feeling better. If you don't feel like eating, at least try to drink something like ensure that has vitamins, minerals and protein. Or maybe even greek yogurt (it has more protein than regular yogurt).

I feel so badly hearing about anyone going through precipitated withdrawals, but twice in two weeks.

Like Sam said, be kind to yourself and I'm sure you'll be back to feeling even better once you start eating some.

Keep us posted on how you're doing.

Nancy
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 10-09-2016, 09:07 PM   #6
mommyofjw
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Smile

Hey guys! So you don't have to call me Mommy just call me Allie. Feeling a little better today. Getting my strength back more each day. I'm sitting here helping my 6 year old do his homework before bedtime�� I went and talked to my parents today. I had told them what I was doing but hadn't told them about going through the prec withdrawals. They are really supportive but I also got jumped onto for not reaching out to them for help while going through them. My dad is going to take me to my appointment this Tuesday if my husband isn't able to take off work. The doctor is an hour from home. I have my own vehicle but it's older so I get a little nervous trying to take it that far. I usually only drive it to take my kids to and to the grocery store. My husband takes the more reliable car to work because he works about thirty minutes from home. And I love hanging out with my dad so I'm really looking forward to getting to spend some one on one time with him on Tuesday. I'm still not really sleeping through the night but maybe tonight will be the night! The hot/cold is gone. My legs are still sore but I kinda just feel like I'm recovering from a really bad flu so hopefully that will start getting better each day too. Hope y'all had a good Sunday��

Last edited by mommyofjw; 10-09-2016 at 09:08 PM.. Reason: Misspelled word
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Unread 10-10-2016, 06:35 AM   #7
NancyB
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Hi Allie, glad to hear you're feeling better. Are you able to eat? I really love that you have such a supportive family. That makes such a big difference.

can you try taking melatonin, valerian root, benedryl or chamomile tea to see if any will help you sleep? Have you been doing any walking or exercising also?

I hope you did sleep better. Have a nice ride with your dad tomorrow!

Nancy
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 10-10-2016, 11:54 AM   #8
mommyofjw
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Smile

Feeling even better today. Just still a little weak and sore legs. I didn't sleep much last night but I do have some melatonin that I might try tonight. I'm just wondering how long before I lay down that I should take it. I don't want to take it too late and oversleep or be super groggy. When I was taking methadone I could sleep whenever my head hit the pillow so honestly I don't even really know how much sleep I need. I get up around 6:45-7 to get my kids ready for school. So I'm going to try to be in bed tonight no later than 11pm. So out of curiosity when would you recommend that I take some melatonin? But I actually got out and ran a few errands this morning. So once this soreness in my legs and my sleep gets straightened out I think it will be great. My Dad is pretty much my best friend. He was against us starting at the methadone clinic all those years ago but it was better than the path we were on so he's dealt with it. But when I talked to him yesterday he told me he was proud of me for what I was doing it was the best thing in the world to hear. We did a lot of crappy things to my parents during our time on pills. Stealing from them, lying to them, etc... I completely lost their trust and respect for a very long time but they never gave up on me or my husband. I've gained their trust and respect back over the last eight years and would never risk it again! My parents mean the world to me. Sorry I'm rambling. I also had quit smoking cigarettes two months ago. Today I am 65 days cigarette free. I had smoked for about twenty years. I'm 36 and I think I started back when I was 15 or 16. So it was awesome to hear my dad tell me he was not only proud of me for getting off methadone but that he was also proud of me for kicking the smoking too! I don't think it matters how old you get you always want your parents to be proud of you Getting nervous for my appointment tomorrow. But not really expecting any problems. I guess it's just because it's something new! I'll let you know how it goes.
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Unread 10-11-2016, 09:21 AM   #9
mommyofjw
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Smile Appointment Day

Getting ready for my appointment today. I'm actually going to put on some makeup and not wear a sweatshirt!!! Still a little nervous but I always get nervous before any type of appointment! I just talked to my Dad and he's still taking me but I kinda feel bad for asking him because my younger sister who still lives with my parents was in the emergency room all night until 6am. At first they thought it was appendicitis but it turned out to be a ruptured cyst on her ovary. I get them too. The doctor told my parents that since I've had them and now my sister is having them that they are hereditary. I feel so bad for her cause they hurt! So my mom and dad of course were at the emergency room with my sister all night. But my dad said he still wants to take me. So hopefully he can get some sleep before we go. My appointment is at 1:15 but it's an hour away so we are leaving around 11:45 so that I get there a few min early to start feeling out paperwork. Just wanted to check in. I'll let y'all know how it goes
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Unread 10-11-2016, 11:25 AM   #10
NancyB
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Hi Allie, Yikes, I hope your sister feels better quickly. That's so sweet of your dad to still be taking you.

Did you try the melatonin last night? I'm not sure how much and when, etc. If there aren't instructions on the bottle, it would probably be best to ask a pharmacist to be sure.

Keeping my fingers crossed your appointment is on time and smooth. Will look for your update later!

Nancy
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 10-17-2016, 05:12 PM   #11
mommyofjw
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Hey it's Allie. Just wanted to check in. I went to my appointment last Tuesday. Everything went smooth. The doctor I saw seemed very nice. I have to go see him weekly until he thinks I'm stable enough to go to seeing him every two weeks and so on. So my next appointment is tomorrow morning. My dad is taking me My husband had his appointment there this past Saturday(he only goes once a month) Our daughter had spent the previous night with my parents and our son had spent the night with his parents(inlaws). So I rode over with my husband and we attended a group together before his appointment. Then after, we were able to go out, just us, and spend most of the day together. We did a little shopping, went out for lunch and he took me to Starbucks which is my absolute favorite! We live in a very small town. We have a Walmart. But that's it. The doctors office is an hour away in a bigger city so it's nice to be able to go to Target and Starbucks and eat somewhere nice. We try to do it once a month when he has his appointment we just usually have one or both kids with us! So it was definitely nice just to get out just the two of us. I'm feeling a lot better. Still trying to get completely rehydrated. I've cut out quite a bit of my caffeine(Mountain Dew) and replaced it with water. But I really don't like water but I'm making myself. I'm still having some issues with my lower back and one of my legs but I think it's unrelated to the withdrawal because I had the same issue when I was taking methadone. So I'm working on that. So next appointment is in the morning but I'm not expecting any issues! Hope everyone is doing well
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Unread 10-18-2016, 07:17 AM   #12
NancyB
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Hi Allie, so good to hear that everything went well with your appointment. I hope that you get to the once-a-month appointment very quickly. Sounds like a great day with you and your husband.

Have you thought about putting fruit in your water to make it more tolerable? They have those infuser things where you can get fruit or herbs and let it seep into the water. Or maybe something like Crystal Light where you get flavor. Just something to think about that might help. Did you ask the doctor about the issues in your lower back and leg?

Hope you have another good appointment! I'm sure your ride there and back will be great with your dad.

Nancy
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 03-14-2017, 07:32 PM   #13
mommyofjw
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Default I'm still here!

Hey! It's been awhile. But I'm doing good. I go to the doctor every two weeks now. It's only been five months so I'm thinking at around six months of treatment I'll ask my doctor if I can start coming once a month. No relapse! I feel better than I have in years. Going to the methadone clinic for over eight years really took a toll on my health and I'm just now realizing that. I've lost a little weight. Nothing major maybe ten pounds but that's ten pounds without trying so I'm happy. My doctor is great. He seems to actually care about me. They always ask me if I'm going to outside groups (they require one in-house group per month) and in my town I'm not able to go to any groups so I try to do stuff from home. I have the big blue book, one day at a time and the celebrate recovery book and workbook plus I'm going to start checking in on here more. My doctor said that being active on this forum was good since I'm not able to attend any local groups. I think there is an NA group one or two evenings a week but the evenings is when my kids are home from school and my husband is home from work so it's a very busy time for me. What is your opinion on outside groups? Considering I haven't done an illegal drug in a little over nine years, I don't have any cravings and can't even remember what my original triggers were. I think in a good place. I know groups are great but I think I'm able to handle not going. Just want some other opinions

Last edited by mommyofjw; 03-14-2017 at 07:33 PM.. Reason: Misspelled word
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