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Unread 07-20-2015, 01:19 PM   #2901
Saint
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I listen to Amy Winehouse and I think of you..
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Unread 07-20-2015, 02:12 PM   #2902
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Glad to see you, Tryn. I think many of us can relate to that darkness that doesn't seem so temporary (but ALWAYS is), that cloud, and absolutely that emptiness. I know you know you're not alone in that - but I thought I might say that anyway just to reiterate it. Really, you're only as alone as you make yourself. And when you're at your darkest, we can be most useful. We are here, and we're real people, and we love you.

While your post scared the hell out of me, I'm really really glad you posted here in your time of desperation. That was reaching out, and I'm extra-super proud of you for that.

Keep the crisis intervention info on hand at all times please, and please keep in touch with us. We are all in this together.
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Unread 07-20-2015, 03:40 PM   #2903
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Good evening everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

Lost Dog, Sam R Lee, Saint and Millie and previously Nan, thank you all.

The truth of the matter is that I had gooton very depressed, frighteningly so. I picked up a drink and when I wrote to you I was considering taking what other can see as a cowards way out. It is not something that has come to me before. I live alone, lost my best friend....another friend came to see me and although a long storey we had a physical fight and I remember sitting here afterwards, I just could not see another day. I just didn't want one. In my drinking state I wrote what I did, and I apologise.

The weekend has been the lowest I have experienced. I am sober and feel so pathetically tearful and for the first time in 41 years, whilst crying, I kept calling out for both my dear Larry and my Mother. I know, I know....it all sounds dreadful self pitiful, but you want to know what's been going on, so I am telling.

On Saturday morning, having drunk a lot the day before, having not eaten for many days I recognised I was, that day, physically incapable of looking after myself. I knew 1 way or another if I did not "pull myself together" I would have been dead by this day. I totally and utterly had a "breakdown", it is the only way I can explain it.

During that Saturday I switched off all my phones only to turn them on around lunchtime to a stack of txts from the children asking what on earth had happened Re the fight with this friend.

I had self destructed. As Millie, oh many or you have said, I systematically set about isolating myself. There is no other way of describing it.

That is why I wrote that post. I felt like such a piece of shit, I could not stand myself and I did not want anyone else to do anything different. Quite what happened inside me over those few days of meltdown I do not know.

I had told you about 2 interventions. I have an assessment at a project on Wednesday afternoon for support around my alcoholism. I had also been offered a line of communication to this chap from Bosnia.

So Saturday I spent vomiting, shaking, crying, yet drinking lots of water. I slept dreadfully Saturday night, the night seemed as if would never end. On Sunday morning I received my first contact from the Bosnian chap who offered to ring me for our first "chat". I agreed and on Sunday afternoon, (seriously still in a place where talking was difficult physically leaving me so short of breath), yet we talked for over an hour. We got on very well.

I live in the south of England, this chap is 100' and 100's of miles away from me, (in Blighty that is a very long way). We decided that bearing in mind the state of my mental health, frankly the mess I am in right now, I just blurted out....."can come and see you?"

And so it is.

Today I am sober, feeling like shit, BUT....tomorrow I have hospital for results from tests and whatnot that may not got my way. On Wednesday I shall have my assessment, and on Friday I shall travel from the south of England to way up north, (almost as far as Scotland) I shall stay overnight in a hotel to meet with the Bosnian chap, (funnily enough although he comes from Bosnia, his name is Milan) for 10am Saturday the next morning.

It will cost me all the money I have, and it can only ever be a "one off", although I felt it would be good to meet him to put faces to the voices, I thought it would show commitment from me, and how much I am prepared to invest to save my life. From then on we shall arrange to either Skype or have phone call meetings. Having met, we both felt that would empower us moving forward when we go on to work together through media.

The talk I had with him gave me hope, and today I have felt amost "outside my body". Sober, but as if I do not recognise my feelings and feel I have lost control of those feelings.

For now,i do not care how bloody awful I feel so long as I stay away from alcohol things can only get better.

All my triggers, all the justifications I have used to drink have happened to me today, simply by the way I feel. Yet for some reason, not once did I want a drink, but because I have always used alcohol as my shield feel bare...naked. I have sort of been in some sort of twilight zone, the feelings apart of me at this time I do no recognise and put it as simply as I can, I feel extremely vulnerable.

I am not looking for sympathy, I promise you I am not. But this is really "me" reaching out, and telling you how it is for me at this time. It helps me I can share it. Often I will deflect what is really troubling me, that is were BS/full of it comes from.

I don't mean to be, I wish I was not on my own at this time, but I am. I have actively made it that way, and now I wish I hadn't.

So for me it is about holding myself together this week. A huge amount of traveling and "keeping a calm and level head" needed.

I am sorry for upsetting all the brothers and sisters here. I will do whatever it takes to try and turn this around.

Thank you for your love, it means a great deal to me at this time.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you all.
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Unread 07-20-2015, 03:42 PM   #2904
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(Ps. R Lee, there is no alcohol whatsoever in my house)

Loveness
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Unread 07-20-2015, 04:15 PM   #2905
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Thank you for this post. You don't sound "self pitiful," that was honest sadness. This is probably the most honest post I've seen from you in my time here. It's beautiful. (You said, "Often I will deflect what is really troubling me, that is were BS/full of it comes from." ... We can tell. )

Thank you for letting us know what happened. And it sounds like you may realize now that alcohol actually was a major contributor to the meltdown...

I can see the pain in your voice, and I'm glad you have plans this week to actively pursue your own health. Please remember you're not alone. Once the chemicals start working their way out of your system, I hope you can see a little sun over the horizon. There will be one ray from each of us here shining straight on you.

Stay strong. You are loved.
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Unread 07-20-2015, 04:35 PM   #2906
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Oh, Tryn, My heart breaks when I read of your despair. I was so deep in my own sorrow, I did not think of others' troubles. You, however, stayed with me through Hell and back. Thank you, Tryn. Remember what a comfort you have been to me. I love you.
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Unread 07-20-2015, 05:34 PM   #2907
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Hi Andy,

Ok, there you are! I see you. Yep, that's you alright. You're Tryin'---and you're on your way back.

I see that now. I am pleased. And I am thankful.

Good.

Difficult? Oh yes, I know it is. Good though. Mighty good to see you again.

best,

sam
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Unread 07-20-2015, 06:26 PM   #2908
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Hey Tryn, it's going to be a good step , you're ready up and going. Post as much as you need, because I am good listener and reader.
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Unread 07-20-2015, 11:05 PM   #2909
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Tryn, If you do not stop drinking you are going to die & that saddens me.
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Unread 07-21-2015, 01:00 AM   #2910
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Tryn,

It's not the cowards way out, it's the alcoholic's way out. Drinking is what we do best when we are active in our disease.

You don't have many benders left in you Tryn. T h ink through that first drink....

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Unread 07-21-2015, 09:54 AM   #2911
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Hey Andy,

I believe I saw hope in your last post, at least some traces of good cheer. I chose to interpret your post as, God willing, a first step to regaining your footing. I thought, I hoped, that the Tryn we all know was climbing his way back to the living, back to the sober life.

Alas.

I fear I was wrong.

You have disappeared again. And like your other friends, I fear that this may mark the end of Tryin, aka Andy.

Oh, what a shame that would be. What a cheat to the world. What a fluckn heartbreak that would be to all creation, especially to those who love and care for you.

I hope I'm wrong. Yet I fear the worst. Of course, I can hope all I want; we can all hope and pray and cast magic potions---but it's you, Andy...it's you who must decide that you want to live. That you have the courage and the gumption to push on.

I hope you do.

sam
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Unread 07-21-2015, 10:24 AM   #2912
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Tyrn,

Good to hear from you. Remember, it's only one day at a time brother...you have done it, you can do it. Try to make it a good day....relax and contain.
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Unread 07-21-2015, 01:22 PM   #2913
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You said you had hospital stuff today... Please check in with us.
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Unread 07-21-2015, 04:06 PM   #2914
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Tryn, It is about 8 P.M. as it is 3 E.S.T. here. How did your day go so far? Think through that 1st drink.

You may think you have the weight of the world on your shoulders & it is too much to accept. Most everyone has things going on. My Cindy is sick. Two of our 5 children have no contact with us over issues with their childhood. I had to take Cindy to the E.R. yesterday with stomach pain that has been going on for years with no diagnoses. Our daughter who is the only child that lives close by had told us to have no contact with anyone in her family so she was not there for her mother. There is a big hole in my family that I now have to let go as I have no control over the situation. Acceptance is the key to my sobriety.

Get a grip before you die of alcoholism.
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Unread 07-21-2015, 05:01 PM   #2915
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Hey RLee,

I am sorry for the heartache in your own life. Some of what you describe seems nearly impossible to endure, especially the heartpain of a daughter who refuses to be a part of your life---and won't even support her sick and(potentially) hospitalized mother.

The world feels so cruel sometimes. Cruel and, it seems, heartless.

Yet RLee, as you noted, the only option we have, the only "humane" option, the only "right" option, is to move forward through it. I think you said "acceptance" is the key to a successful life. Ok, you said "sobriety," and of course you are 100% correct---yet acceptance of whatever calamity that befalls us in our lives, when we can do nothing to prevent it, gives us peace.

Tryn'? As true as this is for RLee, it is as true for every member of Addiction Survivors, including me---and you.

Life sometimes sucks! Ask Susie, who mourns still for Monty. Ask RLee, who fears for his beloved Cindy.

Hell, ask me. Like you, like so many others, I have lived in the black heart of life, including physical, sexual and emotional abuse.

Oh, I still flucking hate what happened to my brother and me. I hate what we two little boys saw and experienced. Even today I sometimes dream about the drunken knife fights between our mom and dad, I hear them cussing each other, kicking each other, stabbing each other. And, in my dream-brain, I see my sweet brother standing and watching our parents, alongside me, our life blood draining from our bodies.

My brother did not survive it. So far, I have---and today, so long as my son and daughter are well (thank God), I have just the occasional dream. Mostly, I have a good life. I accept that those years were way flucked up. What else can I do? I already covered them up with dope for 20 something years, until the dope stopped working.

Anyway. This brings me back to you, Andy.

See, I don't always easily accept everything. Yet I do try to, in the end, accept it all. Still, at times, I rage against it, I do---as I suspect that YOU are raging even now, at something!

Andy? I urge you to stop RAGING; stop right damn now.

Acceptance, as RLee suggested, is the key. You can be a happy, content person. All you have to do is WANT to be happy. I fear that it's your anger and outrage that's stopping your happiness. I fear that, right now, you are happier being angry than with being happy.

Andy? That, my friend, is a losing hand.

As I noted before, come back, please. Stop raging against the world. This life? It is the hand we've been dealt. Play it, and play it well, best you can. In the end, it really is the only option. The only best option!

best,

sam

Last edited by Sam Bailey; 07-21-2015 at 05:05 PM..
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Unread 07-21-2015, 06:19 PM   #2916
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Hey Tryn, im 'almost near Scotland' too on Friday & Saturday. Ill be in Newcastle...! Will you?

I have been where you are, i have overdosed 3 times in my life, and cut my arm so deep i passed out. I know what it is like to be there, to hate yourself so much, to try & reach out only to be branded self pitying. It makes it worse, i know. I know that hearing your words smash right back into your face just makes you think whats the point in reaching out?!

We all know that everyone goes through sh*t, we all know someone has it worse....it doesnt make it easier to be told that when you are so desperately holding on for your life.

In fact the 2nd time i overdosed, i did because i felt so guilty for reaching out as i was told "Everyone has things going on" in my selfish frame of mind i felt like no one could be feeling as terrible as i did right then, so i took all my pills to not feel anymore.

Obviously different things, different ways of intervensions work differently for everyone, but please, be kind to our Tryn.

We love you Andy, we want you to be safe & happy. xxxx
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Unread 07-21-2015, 07:06 PM   #2917
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Good evening everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

It is late, I am sober and tired after a very busy day. The beginnings laid, assessment tomorrow afternoon, tickets bought for Friday.

I have heard you all loud and clear.

I shall write to you properly tomorrow. I,m OK.

Be peaceful , be healthy and be strong. Loveness to all
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Unread 07-21-2015, 07:13 PM   #2918
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Thank you for checking in. Big hugs to you.
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Unread 07-21-2015, 08:21 PM   #2919
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Thank you so much Sam. I have never experienced anything like you describe. Yes acceptance is the key to a successful life.

Keep up the fight Tryn. Think through that next urge to drink. Hugs!!
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Unread 07-21-2015, 08:26 PM   #2920
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Hey Tryn, glad you are resting now, sleep well and have good dreams of a nice life with luv and peace. You have us as your family for that and others you speak of that care for you. Everyday, wake up and be grateful for 3 things. It begins to grow the happiness for those things. The rage goes down with each thought of the good things you do have. I'm so sorry for your past and the crap that was given to you, but you are special and can rise above it. You never deserved anything bad and your life is special. You are as important as anyone else and I feel that you are. R. Lee, bless you at this time also and Sam too, you have been through enough, keep going and thanks for sharing your burdens and weights that are being lifted with sobriety and luv for yourself again.
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Unread 07-22-2015, 05:16 AM   #2921
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Good morning everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

I am quite overwhelmed and so encourage by all of your words. It would take me too long to thank you all individually, yet I feel there may be a little confusion of where I actually am at.

I am not drinking, and now a day to day basis I am trying to move forward. For example today at 2pm I have an assessment with an alcohol project. Yesterday I went to hospital around issues with my bone marrow. I also was accepted for a £600 loan. Let me explain.

I know you have all been somewhat disappointed in me, and I know I have given you all good reason to think I am up my own backside at this time. I am not. Here is the proof.

Assessment today, and at 10am on Saturday, I have 1 hour with this chap Milan from Bosnia. It is a very, very long way away, (essentially a days travelling). It is so far away it meant having to spend over night in a hotel to make sure I was on time in the morning. (I have also never been to this city so will have no idea where I am going). I am poor so could not afford this. I borrowed £625 at 49% interest to do it. The maths are, it cost me £107.90 for the train, and £118.50 for 1 night in a hotel. (Holidays/Friday night) The session will cost me £75. So for 1 hour with this fellow it will take 2 days and cost me £301.40.

THOSE are the lengths I am going to so I can turn this around. I HAVE listened to you. I AM fighting, every single day. I do not feel sorry for myself and I am more than aware of the troubles in others lives, it just so happens that trouble came to me and mine, and I have been trying to deal with it. I am not feeling self pity, i am depressed at this time and i am doing what i can to keep my head up, and bearing mind what i have swung into place this week, it can not be denied i am doing so.

When i was a taxi driver in London back in the day i picked up a suited and booted man about midnight...briefcase and all....and he was pissed. Nothing unusual there. He got in the back and where he wanted to go was about 25 minutes away. I checked him out in the rear view mirror and i could see he was terribly distressed. I asked him what was wrong. He spoke, through his tears in such a calm fashion.

He had a daughter who was paralysed, was in her teens, and him and his wife, though their marriage was not what either wanted had agreed to stay together as looking after the dear child on ones own, too much. I felt for the man and thought that was the end of the story. He then.....nearing his home, went on to say that the previous Christmas his wife had been carrying the child down the stairs and fell, and was herself now, paralysed. He also said that because he was drunk...he would "be in big trouble". I pulled up outside his house about 1pm, and i could clearly see his wife, in a wheelchair at the window waiting for him. He came to my window, (i was nearly in tears by now) and he said to me, "Son....whatever you do.....don't waste your life".

I know how lucky i am, i know others are so dreadfully unlucky. I just had a breakdown. It can be all too much when you are own your own.

I'm off out to the city now. I need to collect my tickets from the train station, go to the bank and then head of for my assessment.

Of course i am somewhat embarrassed at last weeks "dramatics", but i really was there. My heart is still extremely heavy, no...it is not pity....i'm tired, but fighting.

Having read you all, Sam, R Lees especially sharing with me, all of you, Lost Dog, Millie, Alexis, I Am Trying, my dear Susie and of course my brother Saint and everyone else, you have shown me in the last week why it is i came to fall in love with you all. I do love you, and i do listen. This very long week hopefully gives you the evidence that Tryn is fighting back.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to all.
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Unread 07-22-2015, 09:07 AM   #2922
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Think through that next urge to drink Tryn.

Have a great day!!
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Unread 07-22-2015, 01:28 PM   #2923
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Thank you for this, Tryn. It is a relief and an inspiration to hear that you are fighting for yourself. You are worth it. And this is temporary.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I had no disappointment in you. Profound worry, yes. But heaven knows I can't cast any stones.

I hope you can find some peace and joy in today.
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Unread 07-22-2015, 03:29 PM   #2924
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Tyrn,

You inspire me and you inspire many of us. You know that there is no judgement here. Believe me, most of us have been thru worst in one or the other way, nothing is unique.

We support you, One thing I realized after I stopped drinking is I saved lot of money, which I used of other things. That I guess is another benefit for doing nothing, I mean nothing means not drinking, that is an easy money to earn from you for yourself. I am sure you will cope up with your expenses, if you plan not to drink, additionally, you will be more productive and use time and mind for betterment.

Good luck...stay sober and stay safe friend...
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Unread 07-22-2015, 03:41 PM   #2925
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Hi Andy,

Dude! (As my son often says) No worries.

And really, Tryn', nothing for you to be embarrassed about. Oh Good Lord, the things I have done! The things we ALL have done, when that damn darkness settles over us.

So, no worries.

You've rolled up you sleeves and you're tending to all matters, great and small. You are doing the best you can, Andy. That matters, friend.

And know what? You're making progress.

How cool---dude!

best,

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Unread 07-22-2015, 03:46 PM   #2926
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never fear that we are disappointed because it is you that matter. your opinion of yourself is the most important thing. Best wishes at this meeting and may it help you along your journey.
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Unread 07-22-2015, 04:04 PM   #2927
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Tryn,

Glad you're working through it....That's what matters in the end. As Sam mentioned we have all been in that dark place so no apologies needed nor expected. Experiencing life, sober, just plain sucks at times, the pain tangible. Working through that pain I believe allows us to appreciate the good in life, the miracle of life. I choose to feel.

Keep working it Tryn.

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Unread 07-23-2015, 01:51 PM   #2928
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Tryn, I hope you have a peaceful day. Hugs
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Unread 07-23-2015, 04:09 PM   #2929
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How you doing Tryn? Hope you had a great day.
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Unread 07-24-2015, 04:24 AM   #2930
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Good morning everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

R Lee, Millie, I Am Trying, Sam Lost Dog and Saint. Thank you all so much.

It is absolutely miserable here in dear old Blighty. It is hammering down with rain, strong gales and it's summer!

I am about to leave to travel up north for this therapist tomorrow morning. I shall be back tomorrow night, I shall be taking my tablet with me, but in case I am unable to post for a day or 2 I want you to know it is because I am seeking this help.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to all.
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Unread 07-24-2015, 09:52 AM   #2931
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Tryn, have a good trip and I know this will help you. You seek it and it will. Today I am grateful for you, my dogs, and my peace this morning. I'll be in your pocket for support.
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Unread 07-24-2015, 10:56 AM   #2932
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Good luck tryn. Have a great day.
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Unread 07-24-2015, 08:35 PM   #2933
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Sending all manner of good vibes your way, Tryn.
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Unread 07-24-2015, 09:24 PM   #2934
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Hope you have a productive trip Tryn.

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Unread 07-24-2015, 11:20 PM   #2935
Tryntryagain
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Good evening everyone.... Morning. Bright blessings to you all.

I am here to see Milan tomorrow morning 10am.


It took me all day to get to here. I am in a place called Sheffield. At 11.30pm Milan turned up unannounced. I still can't quite believe it. It's 3am. It was....and he was....I can not describe.

I got to sleep. I get 30 mins "free" from my hotel internet access.

Session 10am - 11am.

You just got it.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to all
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Unread 07-24-2015, 11:21 PM   #2936
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Tryn, Good luck tomorrow. You are in my thoughts.
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Unread 07-24-2015, 11:27 PM   #2937
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Hi Tryn, You sound good-amazing that Milan just turned up unannounced. Wow! Sleep good!

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Unread 07-25-2015, 01:28 AM   #2938
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Good luck tomorrow Tryn!!

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Unread 07-25-2015, 03:21 AM   #2939
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Have a great day tomorrow, Tryn!
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Unread 07-25-2015, 03:18 PM   #2940
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Good evening everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

R Lee, Nan, dear Saint and Millie, thank you for your love.

I am back.

I have always found words easy. I have always been able to express and communicate.

Last week Millie said to me, ("We know"), after I had said that I often use words and expression to deflect my real feelings.

I told you last night that Milan turned up at my hotel, very late.

I went across a city I have never been to before in a Taxi to his home where I was met by his wife, and I had my 1-1 session this morning with him. I have since discovered he came to see me late last night, simply so "the ice was broken"....he saw me exhausted and in my "natural state". He did so.....so that this morning, I did not have to waste the hour, "deflecting".

I do not know how to describe this human being.

He is 1 year older than me. He has a peace about him. His journey makes my journey frankly look like a "school trip".

He, vehemently refused to see it that way.

He said what he knew of me from others, the correspondence we had shared, last night in the hotel, and then this morning, perceived me to be a strong and his words, "beautiful man" and that he felt to work with me I needed to accept I would be working with him on the basis of my heart, not my mind/brain.

I told him that.....but a couple of weeks ago I was close to taking my own life, and rather than any response I could have expected, he simply said, "there may well be parts of you that need to die, but not all of you".

We have most certainly connected. We hugged often during last night and this morning. He told me he felt something quite "different" about me. He was also somewhat engaging that I had made such an effort to see him.

The person that "put me on to him", took me to the train station yesterday morning. Although I had a loan from the bank, I am still on a tight budget, and I ask this friend about payment. He told me this.

"Any "therapist", anyone that is looking to empower another wants FIRST the ability to work together.....THEN payment......don't worry about it".

Hmmmm.

I live in a city called Bristol. It is famous for something called "Bristol Blue Glass". (They make glass in their own way). Having been here for...oooo....about 17 years now, I have collected some beautiful Bristol Blue Glass. I happened to have an elephant, (when I first met the children when they were ever so little, I called them "ellflants"....my grandchildren now tell me they are not called "elephants".....they are called "ellflants!")........

So I took my Bristol Blue Glass ellflant, and gave it to him for payment.

I am 49, I have never been hugged so honestly ever before.

Myself and Milan have decided to go on a journey. No you do not understand....quite literally.

We are going to physically visit the places I talk of from my childhood. Then the streets in London. Some here may remember a letter I wrote you that said I went to sleep a boy, and woke up a dangerous man.

We are going to go and find that tree.

We are going to go to those roofs, we will walk them together. We will go to where I was brought up. We shall go to the B+B in Kings Cross where things happened to me over years.

We will go to places where I felt "happy", where my spirit and soul was all I was.

I shall play him the piano, the violin, the guitar and the clarinet. .........................

How can you fix a pie.....if you do not know what is in it?

I do beg your pardon....i'm waffling.

Something has changed my brothers and sisters. Not yesterday, not today, not Mlan, something changed before that. It was dear Larrys passing. I just never believed it.

To this day, looking at the clock, exactly 5am, NOTHING had changed......but I simply turned my head to the wonderful nurse at the end of the bed who had "been watching over us for a couple of hours", my hands still holding both of his and I said..."has he gone?....has he?".......she said...."My love, he's been gone for an hour now". I started to shake him and was "gracefully restrained"....and simply walked out.

I was stopped in the corridor.....why?......that wonderful angel realised, in my state, I had not tied my shoelaces back up. She tied them for me.

I could not let it effect me. It would be "too much for me"......so I drank.

My immaturity nearly killed me.

I "wanted to die"........BOLLOCKS. I just felt that way.

In the space of 12 days....THAT IS ALL IT TAKES.......I nearly drunk myself to death.

My journey means I prefer no one comes close to me, certainly do not touch me.

THAT, will kill any alcoholic in a heartbeat.

Had I.....have I........ever considered allowing "me" to come close to me? Have I ever considered "holding myself"?

Nah.

This is not self indulgence, I promise, this is the real Tryn, this is Andy, unwinding after the most extraordinary 48 hours.

Milan is not a Knight on a white horse. He is someone, through his own history has found a way to that fountain of peace inside.

This very tired Andy, has at last realised why I have such huge ears.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you all.
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Unread 07-25-2015, 06:02 PM   #2941
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I am sitting in the orchestra pit, waiting for the show to start, and decided to check on you. The cellos are probably wondering why I'm all sniffly and misty while preparing for Pirates of Penzance.

Happy, hopeful little tears. Thank you so much for seeking out this help, and thank you for sharing it with us. Love and peace to you today.
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Unread 07-25-2015, 07:47 PM   #2942
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Dear Millie,

Thank you, bright blessings to you.

There is always the option of nudging the folk next to you. Nothing half hearted now....do it or don't.

Justification?....you thought they were asleep.

A completely different tune!

Play your heart out.

Loveness to you Millie. Loveness to all.
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Unread 07-25-2015, 08:39 PM   #2943
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Have a great tomorrow Tryn. Think through that next urge to drink. You can do this.
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Unread 07-25-2015, 09:58 PM   #2944
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Tyrn have a good day...enjoy your stay...kill the urge.
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Unread 07-26-2015, 11:00 AM   #2945
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Tryn,

I am so pleased for you. This man has a message for you?

I understand what you went through when Larry died. I am just beginning to face life without Monty. I wanted a drink when I came home to an empty house last night. Instead, I got up, fed the dogs, filled the bird feeders, and, as RLee says, the urge passed.

I will share what I can as time goes by and I get stronger. I am glad to be back. Especially glad that you are still with us, Andy.

Love, Susie
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Unread 07-26-2015, 03:50 PM   #2946
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Wow, I read your post and it was so intriguing. A mystery to me and I want to know more. This man sounds like an angel taking you under his wing to guide you through the turmoil you endured. Keep me posting and as always, I'm here for your support.
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Unread 07-26-2015, 04:03 PM   #2947
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How are you doing Try? Think through that next drink.
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Unread 07-27-2015, 03:02 PM   #2948
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Hope you're having a great day, Tryn.
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Unread 07-27-2015, 03:37 PM   #2949
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Thinking of you Tryn. What an opportunity to meet someone like him. I'm envious and happy for you Tryn.

Make the most of it. Well, I'm sure you will!

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Unread 07-27-2015, 06:44 PM   #2950
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wow Tryn, just wow. You sound like you have found someone to bring out the best in yourself.

How wonderful you live in Bristol. I have never visited but always wanted to see the art. Im in talks with Arnolfini to take my show there.

And you were in Sheffield!!!? Im from Sheffield! How amazing!

I wish i could meet your friend. He sounds like an incredible man.

Love to you always Tryn xxx
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