Addiction Survivors

Notices

Reply
Unread 06-10-2015, 12:30 AM   #2751
gmasusie
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1,943
Default

Loveness to you Tryn.
gmasusie is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to gmasusie For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-12-2015)
Unread 06-12-2015, 01:06 AM   #2752
gmasusie
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1,943
Default

Tryn,

Where have you been for two days?
gmasusie is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to gmasusie For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-12-2015)
Unread 06-12-2015, 05:48 AM   #2753
Tryntryagain
Senior Member
 
Posts: 3,249
Default

Good morning everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

Thank you Alexis, Lost Dog and Susie.

I have been struggling somewhat dear Susie with my little lot. To be fair it is not something i can "brush off" in my usual brash and pernicious way. I am struggling a great deal with both my physical and mental health. A dynamic of diverse factors have come together to make my life extremely challenging at this time.

It is no secret to my brothers and sisters here that i struggle with eating and with anxiety and whatnot. I have done all the right things. I am sober, i have presented at my Drs with my issues, i have been referred on to a mental healrth assessment on one hand, and various consultants to deal with my physical problems. Some tests done opn my blood and bones that have initially come back as cuase for concern and so im waiting to see the next relevant consultant.

I was "happy" with my mental health assessment in that i communicated i thought, as best i could my underlying issues and i received a feedback letter from them simply reflecting back the assessment, that i would be "rung" after a meeting the next Wednesday. I haven't heard from them since so i feel as if i have given a great deal of intimate and personal information that was in itself a big challenge for me, and i have heard nothing.

Tryn has to walk roughly 10-12 miles a day as i do not drive and live a fair way away from public transport. Normally this would not be a problem but i have a reconstructed knee/ligaments that was given a lifespan of around 10-15 years, that was 20 years ago so "walking" is bloody painful!

I have felt in recent weeks that i have been trying hard to manage and move forward with my issues and do not appear top be getting anywhere, and all the time i am feeling decidedly unwell and next to exhaustion all the time. I am anxious around many things at this time and i am struggling for sure.

However, i shall somehow overcome what is turning into a "weird" and frightening time for me.

My love, support and encouragement for my brothers and sisters here will never diminish.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to all.
Tryntryagain is offline   Reply With Quote
2 Users Say Thank You to Tryntryagain For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-12-2015), Thank You (06-12-2015)
Unread 06-12-2015, 09:46 AM   #2754
gmasusie
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1,943
Default

Dearest Tryn,

Any way to push the health and mental health people along? Do you have an urgent care clinic where you can go for the knee? I know that mental health issues are doubly hard to deal with when you are in constant pain. Can you ring the mental health people and tell them you have not heard back? Can you ask assistance from any of your children?

Come on, Tryn. Sometimes we have to shake ourselves and search for that old fighting spirit. You sound like you are discouraged. I don't blame you. BUT, we know you are your own best advocate. We are here to listen and encourage. Please don't give up on us or on yourself!

Get out there and punch a bus driver if that will help. But, PLEASE keep in touch.

I love you, Tryn.
gmasusie is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to gmasusie For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-12-2015)
Unread 06-12-2015, 07:21 PM   #2755
Tryntryagain
Senior Member
 
Posts: 3,249
Default

Good evening everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

Dear Susie thank you. Quite how at this time, you still manage to give what you surely can not have.......you must be utterly exhausted. My hand in Montys.

Unfortunately many in this family will remember, a very well driven road, late at night.....far too many.....and we even realise as our "full beam" lights we think will "balance everything out"......that corner we drive round 88 times a day....now suddenly seems like a corner we have never seen before.

Life is like that. 1 minute you are in control on a road...."you know well", experience your map, wisdom your sat nav.....what could possibly go wrong?

So often on my journey through my various therapy's it really did seem the only point to my life was to "beat" one thing or another.

Not only do we not know "what is round the next corner", we don't even really know when a corner is coming.

Tryn.....discouraged dear Susie?

Tryn has quite the most famously huge ears and a great big schnozzle, (nose) between them. If my head "drops".....it bounces right back up again!!....Oh and Re "punch a bus driver"......i am soooo tired dear Susie. You see they rest their hand on my forehead while they have a cigarette with me swinging away, with frankly arms without half a chance of ever reaching them.

Mind you, keeps me fit and doesn't hurt anyone i suppose.

Re my knee. The NHS will only reconstruct the reconstruction AFTER i am 50....(value for money and whatnot), so next march i get a new leg. I have been searching for 1 of R Lee's on e bay, but he hasn't listed them yet. (I saw dear Saints dodgy leg online......but it appears he has got 7 dodgy right legs. Perhaps Saint would like to spill the beans?)

My life is to give and provide for the children, i could not imagine, or entertain anything else. They help me by telling me they love me.

The mental health services i most certainly will not contact. I will not do so, not because they are mental health services, simply because they offered a hand, they gave me a space to communicate and explain my difficulties. I did.

For what ever reason they have chosen not to follow the pathway they said they would.

Tryn never ever asks for help.

What?....because i am hard?....big ruffty tuffty chap?......big macho chap? Nope, just for my reasons i find that so very, very hard to do.

When i do......i give me all.

If i feel i have been rejected, i will not, but moreover, can not, go back.

If Tryn was to "do something" about it....the somebodys would wish they had never met me. So I don't.

Dear Susie, i now know having traveled my lot so far, i have no real tangible influence on my journey as i am so full of contradictions. I need to hope i am touched with some sort of magic that extends to the "give me a break", that only really means, "can i have some good luck please?"

What does that look like? Good luck?

Lets put it this way.......I know a quite wonderful fellow, blind as a bat, (although bats are not blind), with this quite wonderful bundle of nonsense Vogue his dog. (Or has he quite tastefully says in a beautiful Irish accent....."she's a complete pain in the arse"), but if one has to have a pain in that part of the anatomy, she is really rather a quite splendid pain to have.

So there you go my dear Susie.......a great big kiss from a great big black Labrador......was all the luck i needed tonight.

I'll decide what luck tomorrow mornings bus driver gives me.........tomorrow eh?
Tryntryagain is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-12-2015, 07:22 PM   #2756
Tryntryagain
Senior Member
 
Posts: 3,249
Default

I do beg your pardon my brothers and sisters....

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Special loveness to dear Susie and Monty, pride to R Lee, loveness to all.
Tryntryagain is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-13-2015, 01:00 PM   #2757
gmasusie
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1,943
Default

Tryn,

I'll be thinking of you this weekend. Monty and I are so relieved to have two days to "recreate." Yes, we are both exhausted. You, my dear man, must remember to advocate for yourself: "Don't let the bastards get you down!"

"They said it couldn't be done" are not words in your vocabulary!!!!! I never will believe that the system can get the best of our Tryn(Andy) who got the best for his Larry.

Don't give up. We need you.

P.S. Can you tolerate your knee until March? How about a brace?
gmasusie is offline   Reply With Quote
2 Users Say Thank You to gmasusie For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-13-2015), Thank You (06-14-2015)
Unread 06-13-2015, 02:01 PM   #2758
iamtrying
Senior Member
 
Posts: 703
Default

Tyrn hope your are doing good...get that knee replacement as soon as possible..there is no point in waiting...i know the Blightys medical system is different...but as soon as you get opportunity do it...
iamtrying is offline   Reply With Quote
2 Users Say Thank You to iamtrying For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-13-2015), Thank You (06-14-2015)
Unread 06-13-2015, 10:55 PM   #2759
nan
Senior Member
 
nan's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,398
Default

Hi Tryn, dear Tryn, too many things going on in your head right now. Hope you have been able to "catch your breath" over this weekend. Small bites, small bites.

Good news on your son's court visit. How wonderful to be out of there. I still teach in a correctional facility and it is not a place anyone wants to be at for any length of time. We always hope our children will take advantage of a second chance and learn from their first unfortunate event. I hope your son will and that he has a support system in addition to you.

As far as your mental health evaluation-well, I hear that you are very disappointed in not having had a follow-up call. Rightfully so, sounds like the national health program you have leaves much to be desired! I remember the struggle you had getting there, and the struggle you had telling all of your concerns. It was like stripping naked in front of a stranger, I am sure. Yet, even though there has been no follow-up you did accomplish a lot by going through what you did. I am sure you brought out some things that needed to be spoken of. Maybe for the first time in a long time-so that has to register as a good thing for you. I say, no matter what happened in the past we are better today because of our experiences, both good and bad. Make the best of today and be the best person you can be right now. Hang the past!!!

Whatever is happening with the job front? I think you should just pack up and move to that big estate and set up the program there. No more walking to the bus, etc etc etc. Only take lovely walks in the garden when you feel like it. Is there a piano in the house? Would be hard to move that! I would even invite you over to my tent for a campfire and making s'mores! I will be bringing the wood from R. Lee's-he is at the Marine convention so will not even miss it.

Hope you have a quiet, refreshing Sunday. You are valuable, take good care of yourself! Hugs!

nan
nan is offline   Reply With Quote
2 Users Say Thank You to nan For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-15-2015), Thank You (06-14-2015)
Unread 06-14-2015, 02:05 PM   #2760
Tryntryagain
Senior Member
 
Posts: 3,249
Default

Good afternoon everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

Susie, I Am Trying, (sorry i have caught up lately I Am Trying), and Nan, thank you so much.

Dear Susie i have a brace, and yes i can. I am hoping to last alot longer than that and leads onto Nans wondering about work.

I have relevant skills, and have had opportunity which you are all aware of. I turned them down because of the problems i have. The contradictions are because i "got there", because of them.

It is not what i want. I have worked in various organisations with various statuses, seriously Nan, there was a time when what i said was heard by alot of those "influential" people. My mistake, is i never felt comfortable "rubbing shoulders with them".

I know it may sound romantic, but since i was so young i have thought i could change.......change. Of course with that philosophy i was never going to do anything else other work with others. Ahhh, but with a rather splendid criminal record, it is not difficult to articulate, communicate, to those that provide for those shall we say in "peril"?

My problem, one may say a tad of a chronic one, is that if i think someone is talking shit.....i say "you're talking shit".

Hold the front page.

So Nan, i have been encouraged alot to write, and i was writing a book, but that is so incredibly boring, (ooopppsss i mean it takes a long time~), as i have my little home so nice, i could "work from home"........(Re wake up to answer the phone)....seriously Nan?....i don't know what to do. Really i don't. I do not want to do what i am being asked to do, because ultimately i can not change it. I will just be a voice in the system. There must be a better way.

I am qualified and whatnot, and do a couple of things so i can always pay my bills, but wouldn't it be.....wouldn't it be lovely to get some support with the issues i struggle with. It is not the case i have nothing to offer, it does not mean i can not give, i just need an ear on my way.

I simply have no idea what i would do without you all.

So here in dear old Blighty it is 17.49pm, an overcast and mischievous cloud covering. It knows what it is going to do.....we don't. The breeze now brushing against my windows as if to invite itself for supper.

What i do know, alcoholic or not, i fully support the "removal" of R Lees wood whilst he is at the Marine Convention.

May i say.....that when R Lee comes back from the Marine Convention, and we have taken his wood......with my dodgy leg....i will have no alternative other than to point my dodgy finger at you dear Nan. I believe the anxiety lays frankly in a simple word, "Marine".

This is how it jabbarwockily goes.....


"Errrr hello Tryn".......says R Lee, (as he lands from nowhere in a very expensive bit of american kit)......"where are you taking that wood?"....

"What wood?".....i so eloquently make out to be in sort of English?".......

"The logs you have under each arm???"....

"Ahhh, now R Lee, actually they are not "my" logs perse".....

Nan said dear Jenm needed them to build a new building for the sort of mad stuff she does?

Phew....that was close.
Tryntryagain is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-14-2015, 02:09 PM   #2761
Tryntryagain
Senior Member
 
Posts: 3,249
Default

I do beg your pardon,

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to all
Tryntryagain is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-14-2015, 08:25 PM   #2762
gmasusie
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1,943
Default

Glad to see you have not lost your sense of humor!
gmasusie is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to gmasusie For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-15-2015)
Unread 06-15-2015, 03:39 AM   #2763
Saint
Senior Member
 
Saint's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,364
Default

Tryn and Nan, you two make me smile. Today I needed that.

Thank you,
Saint
Saint is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to Saint For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-15-2015)
Unread 06-15-2015, 04:19 PM   #2764
Tryntryagain
Senior Member
 
Posts: 3,249
Default

Good evening everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

Dear Susie and Saint.....losing ones humour means......."that's yer lot".

I have to say that at this time...my humour has been lost.....Saints leg is not looking good....and R Lee is in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I went to run my usual 7pm bath....and 2 heads popped up out of the plug hole. (Oh i dunno....that were waffling on about being Matt..... and the other one was saying he was sweat.....or sweating or something,) now most of my dear brothers and sisters have guns.

Good grief.

Anyway, in dear old Blighty we have "baseball bats", (even though we have never played the game), to stave off trouble.

Well Tryn was once a posh boy, so i don't do "baseball bats".....nope....i prefer a 7 iron. I know you have no idea what i am talking about, but that particular iron, works wonders on jeans. There you go.

However.....and this is the important part.......they popped out but they had a "cunning plan".....they would, "get out of the way".

Hmmmm....i have contacted the FBI, (Fine But Irrelevant), and they asked me if "Matt and Sweat had taken @ "selfies", per chance, i said they did indeed.....but i did not want my photo plastered all over the world.

So...(i'm waiting to hear back from the CIA actually), i may be asked if i want to be the very man that will be secretively asked if it was me "that took them down", or infact just the plughole in my bath.

Bids for my bath now starting on e bay. If it helps to have said lunatics in the bath....bid quickly and i will keep them here. (before the CIA "wash them")

So i start the bidding at the rest of my life sober........

......

You mean i don't need to bid?

Be peaceful, be healthy, get these 2 lunatics out of my bath and be strong. Loveness to all.
Tryntryagain is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-15-2015, 11:47 PM   #2765
lostdog
Senior Member
 
Posts: 2,942
Default

How are you doing Tryn, I think you are still making everyone smile. I know I laugh when I read your funny writings. I was walking into the airplane and this man with an accent said ,"Do we sit anywhere? and I said yes, and he said that was Lawless" I thought of you and what you would have said at that moment.
I'll write soon. Dropping by to check on my peeps.
lostdog is offline   Reply With Quote
3 Users Say Thank You to lostdog For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-16-2015), Thank You (06-20-2015), Thank You (06-20-2015)
Unread 06-20-2015, 01:05 PM   #2766
Tryntryagain
Senior Member
 
Posts: 3,249
Default

Good afternoon everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

Thank you Lost Dog. I do believe it is common knowledge in this family that Tryn and "travel" have "issues"......and that is just the bus. I have flown all over the world.....and the world wish i hadn't.

What a week.

My thoughts around Nans post to dear Susie, peaks and valleys, indeed. Although we all know those times when in the valley the peaks look ever so tall and very, very far away.

For myself i more than understand all those valleys, and those quite magnificent peaks. How i "cope with life" was entirely dependent where i am by my own hand.

When one feels it is taken out of ones remit, luck holds hands with drudgery, and skips along as positively as it can.

Tryn has never understood a single thing in his lifetime. If he has, it is only what he has seen. I have eyes like saucepans, it empowers me to take in as much as i can, and my soulful calculator does it sums, and i lay my heart down and hope for luck.

The folly of luck itself thankfully being lost on me, allows me to dance when i shouldn't, sing when i am hoarse, believe where i have no evidence, that always....always there is something special all around.

Approaching 50 and thinking i had "so many friends in life"....very, very few the fact. That alcohol was my "lover" for decades......i never really knew....never took on board.....what about my little legs keeping me going? What about my soul forging on? What about the blindness to adversity........keep going?

Neglect and arrogance.

I assumed it...well "i" physically would just keep going.

I wager many in my family here who have drunk to our accesses also smoked?

****, i can hardly bring myself to remember.......about 15 years ago i was on a 5 day a week program i had to turn up every day to, to keep on it. I did so. The deal?....you had to be sober on the day, (checked) and the group started at 1pm. (Enough time for those that wanted to change to make up their mind.)

1 day in the group we were told about the risks of oral cancers through sustained drinking.

Whilst Larry was dying i was really getting alot of pain in my joints. Hey....i'm nearly 50.......and trust me i've been thumped a few times. (1000 fights....never won 1......not one!).....so whatever....go along for blood tests. They spring something up, (i'm not interested at this stage as Larry is still on his way to the gates)....so alot of ~ neverminds, then i got a letter to go in for some bone/marrow stuff.

Tryn is not the most famous eater on the planet, although i drink alot of bottle water, always in my hand.

About 2 months ago i didn't "see" but felt what felt like "pimples" on the inside of my lips. They didn't "show" they were not "spots", just like tiny, tiny little lumps on the inside of my lips.

I had already had, and had communicated to my Dr that i was having trouble eating and how i was sick afterwards. I said i felt like "i was always on the verge of having a sore throat".

My brothers and sisters, you know the feeling. You feel a bit under the weather, your throat doesn't quite feel right, you snuggle into bed and there is that time that you go...."oh no!.....i'm getting a really sore throat!" And so it is, 24 hrs later, all better now.

I spent weeks thinking...."oh..oh...getting a sore throat here".....it never happened.

In dear old Blighty, the NHS has really surpassed itself, in that you can now see a GP on a Saturday. It has now been recognised that the population do have an extremely annoying consistency of needing medical interventions between Friday 5pm and Monday 9am.

I do believe alot of money is bet.....go with me folks.......imagine........

Patients....on trollys......just need a bit of space......and you can play "pool". Oh yes....."glide" a trolly into another to knock it nearer to treatment. Imagine a plant eh?

Anyhew, i saw a cracking Dr this morning, stuff lined up for Monday.

2 things, i love you all, and being allowed to share with you all, suits me just fine. I imagine it will take about 4 years for them to find out that infact i have an ingrowing toenail.

I am just sharing. No idea the state of play at this time, if any of my brothers and sisters start giving it "hope it works out ok"......or "fingers crossed".... i will not be polite.

I was warned....and warned....and warned. For goodness sake, how many rehabs? So many interventions.

I thought i was so, so, so clever. Actually i didn't at the time, but when i look back, gosh who did i think i was?

The fact of the matter is i know nothing, other than dodgy lips and a "weird" throat. Nothing hurts at all.

Tell you what.....i have never played better piano!

I think i am able to be open now after my time in this beautiful family.

If anyone goes, "awwwee" i will find you and shove it up where the sun don't shine...."empathy" i can do without,,,,errr "i'm here?",

**** it.....I should have listened.

(I can't stop licking my lips now)

Be peaceful, excuse my little rant'anger, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to all.
Tryntryagain is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-20-2015, 03:46 PM   #2767
lostdog
Senior Member
 
Posts: 2,942
Default

The world had joy when you traveled and still will. Also, you write and understand us all. I think your a wealth of knowledge and you would be excellent company on my volunteer trail clean up crew. I would be the whiner for a day. Take care and wishing only and always the best news for you. Big HUGS!
lostdog is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to lostdog For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-21-2015)
Unread 06-20-2015, 03:50 PM   #2768
Millie
Senior Member
 
Posts: 2,442
Default

I know that type of anger well. Love to you, Tryn.
Millie is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to Millie For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-21-2015)
Unread 06-20-2015, 09:25 PM   #2769
Saint
Senior Member
 
Saint's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,364
Default

Yes we should have listened but we didn't did we? So...where do we go from here? We go forward, we go forward and live life on life's terms. Fingers crossed ; )

Saint
Saint is offline   Reply With Quote
2 Users Say Thank You to Saint For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-21-2015), Thank You (06-21-2015)
Unread 06-21-2015, 01:41 AM   #2770
gmasusie
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1,943
Default

I cannot look ahead even 24 hours. How long do you have to wait to find out?
gmasusie is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to gmasusie For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-21-2015)
Unread 06-21-2015, 06:24 AM   #2771
Saint
Senior Member
 
Saint's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,364
Default

Thinking of you Tryn. Hang in there.

Saint
Saint is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to Saint For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-21-2015)
Unread 06-21-2015, 08:40 AM   #2772
Tryntryagain
Senior Member
 
Posts: 3,249
Default

Good afternoon everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

Lost Dog, Millie, Saint and Susie. Thank you. What a quite splendiferous family this family is.

Dear Saint in the years i have known you now there are 2 things i can gaurentee from you. Damn good advice and a smile in my heart. Fingers crossed indeed! Bless you my brother.

I think it is only fair to get a couple of things straight here!

Tryn is one lucky, lucky man. I have always been blessed with luck. "The luck of the devil" pales into insignificance when it comes to Tryns luck.

Thankfully through that luck i am here, and again thankfully, i am maturing and growing, and if anyone doubts the sort of luck i have had on my journey, i am with you all am i not?

I am yet to recover from the weariness of a loved ones demise, and together with a tad of dodgy health of my own, i am guilty of letting my head drop from time to time.

As dear Saint so eloquently shows, my bark is far worse than my bite, simply because my heart is true. However i have never made life "easy" in that when life has thrown me lemons.......well Tryn would.....i tried to make orange.

Yes i have tip toed along the line of my own, both physical and mental health, warning signs in neon lights along the journey, but i happened to be looking the other way.....it matters not, truly it does not.

What i, and "we" do is a family is move on, a day at a time, taking that 1 step at a time, and employing the most vulnerable parts of Tryn, patience and calm.

Susie tomorrow i merely have a letter to take to a department that will "take a look", a second opinion from those that might know sort of thing, i shall certainly know from this consultation if i need further assistance, or whether or not it is all wholly unrelated.

As you all know i am almost laughably brash and full of it, and you all equally know i am merely using what i have to make my way, and that fear, insecurity and a magnificent lack of personal confidence, is why i am me, and why i look so much forward to becoming strong in my character so i may empower myself to live life on life's terms.

I do still struggle with that so dear Saint.

I do so because i am driven to find "unfairness" for others and help guide those to believe it can change. When i see myself, i am torn between feeling breathtakingly lucky, and breathtakingly unlucky.

But is that not everyone's life?

My job is to be all grown up, as I Am Trying says, "be responsible for my actions", a day at a time.......what could possibly go wrong?

Every now and then Tryn becomes a tad "morose". As much as i adore my world, i can sometimes see it in a very dim view, often when i see it through mine eyes. Frankly that is all it is. I think i shall start a new trend here in the family.

It will be called....."the monthly moan". A place where we can all come and say how all dreadfully unfair any day of the week is being, and how we can do absolutely nothing about it!"..........apart from that is .......living life on lifes terms.

Whatever the state of play, i merely want to be able to change the things i can, and accept those that i can't. Sounds sooooo easy.

I want you to all know that Tryn's head is held high, in no small part to the love, oh goodness........YES....infact that is the perfect word.......the goodness that is amongst us all.

Thank you everyone. Have a loving Sunday.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you all.
Tryntryagain is offline   Reply With Quote
2 Users Say Thank You to Tryntryagain For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-21-2015), Thank You (06-21-2015)
Unread 06-21-2015, 12:15 PM   #2773
gmasusie
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1,943
Default

We are here with you. Happy Father's Day to you, too.
gmasusie is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to gmasusie For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-22-2015)
Unread 06-21-2015, 12:29 PM   #2774
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

Tryn, We have to do the footwork concerning our health but then be willing to accept the consequences of the damage we caused. You are in my thoughts. Please do not jump to conclusions before they tell you what is going on.

Hugs!
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to R. Lee For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-22-2015)
Unread 06-21-2015, 12:38 PM   #2775
nan
Senior Member
 
nan's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,398
Default

Good morning Tryn, Happy Father's Day! I sure hope your children are doing the cooking for you today! I guess no matter who does the "work" it is nice to be surrounded by the children and grandchildren. Enjoy the day!!

nan
nan is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to nan For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-22-2015)
Unread 06-21-2015, 03:54 PM   #2776
Alexis
Senior Member
 
Posts: 3,724
Default

hEY Tryn, Happy Fathers Day! Sending you lots of love.

I hope you get some help tomorrow and that things are alright, will be thinking of you.

Love and peace xxx
Alexis is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to Alexis For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-22-2015)
Unread 06-21-2015, 07:49 PM   #2777
lostdog
Senior Member
 
Posts: 2,942
Default

Happy Father's Day, don't worry about anything today, relax and take a day to honor you.
lostdog is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to lostdog For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-22-2015)
Unread 06-21-2015, 09:41 PM   #2778
Saint
Senior Member
 
Saint's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,364
Default

Happy Father's Day Tryn!!
Saint is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to Saint For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-22-2015)
Unread 06-22-2015, 03:41 PM   #2779
Millie
Senior Member
 
Posts: 2,442
Default

You are indeed lucky. We all are! We're alive!

But sh*t(e?) also happens. And it's okay to moan. Better out than in, as my great-grandmother used to say. She may have been talking about something else.

Sending lots of good vibes your way.
Millie is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to Millie For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-25-2015)
Unread 06-22-2015, 04:17 PM   #2780
Saint
Senior Member
 
Saint's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,364
Default

Haha,
This is off topic but goes along with what Millie says. My grandmother used to say, "Where ever you may be let your wind go free". She was speaking to, ummm, flatulence. Hope that made you smile Tryn!

Peace,
Saint
Saint is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to Saint For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-25-2015)
Unread 06-23-2015, 02:31 PM   #2781
iamtrying
Senior Member
 
Posts: 703
Default

Hi Tyrn...hope things are going well...have a good day friend
iamtrying is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to iamtrying For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-25-2015)
Unread 06-24-2015, 10:36 AM   #2782
lostdog
Senior Member
 
Posts: 2,942
Default

Tryn, I haven't heard from you in a while, Hope your day is peaceful and you are doing well.
lostdog is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to lostdog For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-25-2015)
Unread 06-24-2015, 11:10 AM   #2783
gmasusie
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1,943
Default

Okay,

Today I had my monthly moan. We need to hear from you, Tryn. All is not right with our world if we don't have a daily report. We worry about you. PLEASE check in.

Love, Susie
gmasusie is offline   Reply With Quote
2 Users Say Thank You to gmasusie For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-24-2015), Thank You (06-25-2015)
Unread 06-24-2015, 01:45 PM   #2784
Millie
Senior Member
 
Posts: 2,442
Default

Hopping on the bandwagon. Please check in?
Millie is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to Millie For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-25-2015)
Unread 06-25-2015, 10:58 AM   #2785
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

Whats up Tryn??????
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to R. Lee For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-25-2015)
Unread 06-25-2015, 03:40 PM   #2786
Sam Bailey
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1,630
Default

Hey Andy!

We all know, certainly you know, that your absence from this forum does not bode well for your well being. IF you can get to your computer, please do so. Tell us, please, what the nature of your heartpain is.

Sure, of course, maybe your absence is due to something as banal as a crappy tech problem with your computer. I hope that this is so, a computer problem..not that I wish tech problems on you, but my point made, I think.

Though I didn't mention it, your past several posts, several recent days in a row, sounded ominous. But then, maybe I was simply projecting my own psychic wounds. Other words, maybe I was just way off base. I hope that I was.

Anyway. I kept silent. Damn that choice!

I worry that I am not off base. Truth is, WE all worry that you're unwell. If so, reach out to us. Brother? You know we, every damn one of us, will come running to your aide, best we can.

I know, that may not solve anything. But then, maybe it will. Please try, Tryn'!

Please, come knocking. We will answer, every single one of us.

best,

sam
Sam Bailey is offline   Reply With Quote
3 Users Say Thank You to Sam Bailey For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-25-2015), Thank You (06-25-2015), Thank You (06-25-2015)
Unread 06-25-2015, 06:15 PM   #2787
Tryntryagain
Senior Member
 
Posts: 3,249
Default

Good evening everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

Thank you all for your love.

All I can do is send my love back at this time.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to all
Tryntryagain is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-25-2015, 06:29 PM   #2788
Millie
Senior Member
 
Posts: 2,442
Default

Thank you for checking in. I hope you're okay. Big hugs to you.
Millie is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to Millie For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-26-2015)
Unread 06-25-2015, 06:49 PM   #2789
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

B.S. Tryn we are family knock it off. What is going on. We cant make it alone.
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
2 Users Say Thank You to R. Lee For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-26-2015), Thank You (06-26-2015)
Unread 06-25-2015, 10:52 PM   #2790
lostdog
Senior Member
 
Posts: 2,942
Default

Hi Tryn! Luv and hugs to you, too! Post when you can and know that I will listen.
lostdog is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to lostdog For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-26-2015)
Unread 06-26-2015, 11:26 AM   #2791
gmasusie
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1,943
Default

Come on, Tryn. As RLee said to LD, problems shared are problems cut in half. You know we have all been where you are. Have you gone off the wagon? So, you are human? Let us help. Are you ill? We will suffer with you. Let us know what is going on!
gmasusie is offline   Reply With Quote
2 Users Say Thank You to gmasusie For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-26-2015), Thank You (06-26-2015)
Unread 06-26-2015, 02:27 PM   #2792
Tryntryagain
Senior Member
 
Posts: 3,249
Default

Good afternoon everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

I had infact spent 2 hours writing to you last night,, Sams letter was just beautiful, the whole shebang, and when i pushed send it said, "timed out". These things happen, but it was a tad cruel last night for sure.

I shall try again.

I have had a dreadfully difficult week for me, and i had been drinking during this week. Last night i so wanted to communicate to you all that honesty with oneself that is the only pathway to sustained sobriety.

We all know that.....yet....there needs to be those we love, share with and care for, we need to be honest too.

It is so important to Tryn to share that i took a drink to you all.

That has now gone. The weakness that overcame me belonged to worry for myself.

I know for a fact..("oh you do ...do you?"....yup"), that every single one of us here give, to the point oblivion. That is where we have a "quick sit down, before forging on".

You know?, the part of us that keep seeing "puppy dogs eyes" all over the place. In people, in circumstance, in promise, in belief, in hope.

When life has thrown Tryn lemons, i have no idea why i tried to make orange.

Ok my brothers and sisters that's the emotional BS out of the way........

I am not entirely sure how to communicate how i struggle to hold a face of "care and concern", when all i get is BS, .....but then i haven't looked in the mirror recently R Lee.

Yes....i am weak, i am missing...well, you know, a space so big now empty, i can now understand there are "billions of universes".

I can remember when dear Larry passed away, i thought all and sundrys world would be moved. Yet....of course, for others, another day in the office.

Love, loss, experience, wisdom....the whisper of ourselves, historically finding a difficult pathway through. I believe we are as a family, and as individually different in that we have a wave length that feels certain things, hears certain things, and thus can achieve very special things.

My brothers and sisters in the big place will know far more than me about riding wild horses. The ride listening at the end, to the dust settling around you. The sun shining through the energy, blissfulness projecting the shower of dust.

I have not been very "appreciative or co-operative" this week around my health. It is all the more "tempting" to say .....when there is no one there saying, "shut up". I have an appointment on the 1st...i will be on my best behaviour, which i confess perhaps has challenged my normal appalling behaviour. (I have "looked ahead"....and thought the bus might be a bit stressful, only based on a couple of dodgy past experiences!, so i will book a cab. But what if he doesn't know the way?? I will most certainly have to walk the rest of the way, and maybe under escort. At least i get a comfy ride)

I am a bundle of notion, love, emotional breathlessness, the mixture of confusion with total clarity....oh my, that sounds so good on a violin....., why all this?

Would you employ a plumber that's own tap was leaking? Would you ask a hedge trimmer to trim your hedge, if theirs was in need of the very same?

I would. They haven't the time to do theirs, they are doing everyone elses.

Even so, time for me to start giving courage to me. Hard to do, when you are not very brave. (Never confuse having a life that must have had courage with just being really, really lucky.) I am very, very lucky.

I am bundling along, trying to make my perceived little differences that makes everything grow.

No i am not happy i took a drink. It was quite, quite awful. My bath running, Tryn still strong despite his weaknesses.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Thank you R Lee. Loveness to all.
Tryntryagain is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to Tryntryagain For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-26-2015)
Unread 06-26-2015, 08:15 PM   #2793
Alexis
Senior Member
 
Posts: 3,724
Default

tryn you are wise, and have a magical prescene. I'm glad you are back xxx
Alexis is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to Alexis For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-27-2015)
Unread 06-26-2015, 11:00 PM   #2794
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

Tryn, There is a time limit when one is posting & it will shut down if you do not post it in a certain amount of time. We were not asking for a 2 hour explanation of what & why. We were saying we have not heard from you in a while & we were concerned.
You mentioned B.S. a couple times. I am glad it got your attention.
I am also glad that you had the opportunity to come here and say I drank again. So many times the alcoholic does not get the chance to come back & say that. They may never want to say those words because they choose to stay out & drink until their end comes.
We should not judge you & I wont. I know why you drank in the simplest of terms. You are an alcoholic & you had more drinking to do.
If you want to be a sober man start over & think through that next urge. It can be that simple if we are willing to live life on life's terms. Try & look at others that have made it so far with just simple way sticking to the basics. You can do this. Give it a try before you cant.
HUGS!!!

Last edited by R. Lee; 06-26-2015 at 11:05 PM..
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
3 Users Say Thank You to R. Lee For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-27-2015), Thank You (06-27-2015), Thank You (06-27-2015)
Unread 06-27-2015, 09:52 AM   #2795
Saint
Senior Member
 
Saint's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,364
Default

Tryn,

RLee ' s words carry weight with me. I also happen to believe strongly that the simplest most basic reason we drink is because we are alcoholics.

To say you don't have courage is wrong. You found the courage and strength to come here and admit you drank. It isn't so important to us that you drank. What is important is getting the words out, facing ourselves, facing our decisions and resolving to try again, to try to find new ways to stay sober. As they say, not drinking is the easy part.

Peace,
Saint
Saint is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to Saint For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-27-2015)
Unread 06-27-2015, 10:04 AM   #2796
Tryntryagain
Senior Member
 
Posts: 3,249
Default

Good afternoon everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

Thank you Alexis. I thought Susies post to you, asking you to read back the wonderful support you give to others, it says a great deal about you.

R Lee, thank you.

I think you may have misunderstood me. I had arrived at a set of circumstances that i wanted to unravel. I was not compiling a compendium of "ins and outs", merely trying to work through, what at the time, had become overwhelming emotions. I was sober and have no doubt many amongst us go through these feelings. I wanted to share what they looked like for me, both for my own needs of moving on, and the core foundation of sharing for others to learn.

I grant you that on an addiction website the passing of "gracious the goldfish" may not seemingly hold a great deal of water, (!), yet when we all talk of "our journeys"......we share out lives, our fears, our achievements and our thoughts of the 'morrow. All of it has come from our experiences, however ripe.

R Lee i know the misconception is that alcoholics "hide their drinking". That is merely a symptom, before they do, they hide themselves, from themselves, and hide away.

The 2 hour post that i was not able to send, was my attempt to show myself as i am. I know hiding is a death sentence.

There are many that read this family's words that never post.....that is fine with me. Yet the journey of one, i want to share, however it ends up.

Tryn does not know how to be succinct. I do not know the shortcuts to say what i want to say.

I have written the last 2 posts because i am an alcoholic, and i don't want to have "anymore drinking to do".

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to all.
Tryntryagain is offline   Reply With Quote
4 Users Say Thank You to Tryntryagain For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-27-2015), Thank You (06-27-2015), Thank You (06-27-2015), Thank You (06-27-2015)
Unread 06-27-2015, 10:05 AM   #2797
Tryntryagain
Senior Member
 
Posts: 3,249
Default

(Our posts crossed dear Saint. Bright blessings to you, and thank you)

Loveness to all.
Tryntryagain is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 06-27-2015, 11:25 AM   #2798
R. Lee
Senior Member
 
Posts: 4,984
Default

Tryn, Think through that next urge to drink. You may not have another recovery in you if you pick up.
R. Lee is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to R. Lee For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-27-2015)
Unread 06-27-2015, 06:50 PM   #2799
lostdog
Senior Member
 
Posts: 2,942
Default

Tryn I am with you, I am in a tough place too. Let's get better through help from everyone.
lostdog is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to lostdog For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-28-2015)
Unread 06-27-2015, 09:16 PM   #2800
Alexis
Senior Member
 
Posts: 3,724
Default

Sending you love and happiness Tryn, you are a bright light shining in my tunnel. I dont like it when i cant see you!

xx
Alexis is offline   Reply With Quote
One User Says Thank You to Alexis For This Useful Post:
Thank You (06-28-2015)
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off




All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:10 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
© 2014 Addiction Survivors