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Unread 05-25-2015, 03:36 PM   #2701
R. Lee
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Have a great day Tryn. Hugs!!
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Unread 05-25-2015, 11:30 PM   #2702
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Well that's good I never want to upset anyone. I'm all about kindness.
My neighbor lower then us in terrain only , just got flooded and might stay with us. We have had torrential rains. I'm sad for him.
I am enjoying your funny writing and humor. I'm glad I'm top dog, but my other Nick name is Mut, because I root for the under dog. Have a nice day tomorrow.
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Unread 05-26-2015, 02:43 PM   #2703
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I don't have much to say other than hi Tryn.

And I actually can totally relate to being upset by the bus. Where I live, it's a major metropolitan city, but I live outside of the immediate downtown core. Which by car is 20 minutes. By bus it's 70 minutes. If one shows up. There's a train, but it goes no closer than three miles to my house. So same amount of time. Yep, that's fair. And if you take out your iPhone on the bus or train, you're taking your life into your hands.

If you do take over the Blighty Bus System, please send a clone here. I think your demands are reasonable.
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Unread 05-27-2015, 12:02 PM   #2704
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Tyrn my friend how are you...hope things going well...

you know you don't have to deal with loads of snow like here...bus-sing is fine you get lots of time to read...there are enough morons driving cars on the road to get that unnecessary stress...

Have a good day friend..
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Unread 05-27-2015, 10:31 PM   #2705
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Tryn,

I miss your goodnight greetings. Where are you? Are you OK?

Love, Susie
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Unread 05-28-2015, 04:32 AM   #2706
Tryntryagain
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Good morning everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

R Lee, Lost Dog, Millie, I Am Trying and Susie, thank you.

Lost Dog, how i know you are about gentleness and kindness. There is a great deal of sensitive wisdom within you.

Millie and I Am Trying, yes i suppose for me the "buses" seem to enable me to let out all my perceived "collected injustices!". It may be a bit of a mental block for me, but i find it so, so very difficult not to "huff and puff, tutt and sigh" whilst i am on a bus, i am working hard at not doing so.

Susie i am slightly worried at this time. I had 17 x rays last week that was flagged up by rheumatology. With it came blood tests. I received a call yesterday from a hospital in relation to those x rays and blood tests and they wish to see me on Monday. The department i am needing to attend has nothing to do with Rheumotology. That being the case, and as Tryn is a great one for assumptions, i shall not be doing so this time round and shall wait to see what happens on Monday. I am anxious however. We shall see.

Its 8.30am here in dear old Blighty.

Its a bright morning if a bit on the chilly side and i shall soon be off to go about my day. It is half term in Blighty and this is my opportunity to see all the grandkids and hopefully take them off their mums hands for a little while.

I have been seeing that there has been some quite dreadful weather in parts of the big place, (Houston, parts of Texas underwater?).

I want to reach out to all my brothers and sisters in the big place who are effected by this, my love, strength and support is all yours.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to all.
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Unread 05-28-2015, 08:24 AM   #2707
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Afternoon Tryn,

Sunny but chilly here in Manchester. Also i wondered why there were lots of kids in the park yesterday, half term!!

Have a great time with the grandkids, they are so lucky to call you Grandad.

Will be hoping your appointment is nothing but a discussion. Please dont worry too much.

Love always xx
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Unread 05-28-2015, 09:50 AM   #2708
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Tryn, Have a great day with the grand kids.
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Unread 05-28-2015, 09:57 AM   #2709
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Good to hear from you. We will await news!
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Unread 05-28-2015, 02:00 PM   #2710
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Have a great time. Sending lots of health vibes your way.
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Unread 05-28-2015, 03:34 PM   #2711
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best wishes sent your way. don't worry as we have you in our thoughts all the time. You are very popular! take care and don't worry. If you have to think about something, take 5 minutes, think and then let it go.....
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Unread 05-28-2015, 08:04 PM   #2712
Tryntryagain
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Good evening everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and love.

I am , and will be just fine.

I am with 2 snoring daughters, 3 grandkids i have just looked in on, and frankly, how a human being can survive, let alone sleep in the contortions these lovelinessess do is beyond my comprehension.

I have woken in a few cells in the morning and demanded some sort of investigation as to "what must have happened to me in custody"......none of it.....a simple..."do you know how you tried to sleep in in your cell?"...covers it.

Ergo the children. Susie will know what i mean when i say "practice!".

Whilst the moon continues to tease the sun, and i can thank my luck for being here, for when the children run and play in rthe park, just as children should.........

Makes up for all he times they come back with their £1000 ice cream and so eloquently say...."dont wannit"

How i love them.

In the last 30 mins, i have brushed their brows, kissed their cheeks, made the dreams comfy on their pillows....these little blessed ones, that told me 40 minutes ago they wqere not tired at all.

We only know each other between lifes rainbows. These little sleeping wonders, are infact sleeping giants.

One day. One day.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to all
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Unread 05-28-2015, 08:09 PM   #2713
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Aw. What a nice post, Tryn.
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Unread 05-28-2015, 08:33 PM   #2714
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Love and happiness to you and your family Tryn

Good night my sweet friend xxx
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Unread 05-28-2015, 08:42 PM   #2715
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Simply wonderful Tryn. Hugs!
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Unread 05-30-2015, 11:35 AM   #2716
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Good afternoon everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

Awwwee, thank you Millie, Alexis and R Lee.

I think you know where i was at. I can not see a may flower or a child differently. They all wave at me. I have no other responsibility other than to wave back.....and make sure they are able to do so for their forever.

I know it is not the season, but i often think of us all sitting around R Lee's wood burner. Roaring as an ocean does in a room.

When i came here and joined this family, people turned round to look at me. I was walking past everyone's lives and waffling about mine.

I have always reached out my hand to anyone and everyone, when i see a hand reached out to me, i run a country mile. Just as fast as i can. I felt i could not look angels in the eye, i didn't know what to say.

Here i learnt.........i didn't have to say anything.

If Tryn gets to the point where he believes he has nothing to say.....truly.....a miracle has happened.

For my brothers and sisters in some parts of the big place, when the sun goes down on the prairies, and the golden backs of meandering cattle shift with the shadows, remember.....that in dear old Blighty........it will be raining.

When you smile with rain drifting with the unforgiving wind into your face, your natural "guttering system" means the rain is a welcome addition to who you are.

Believe that?......you'all believe anything.

I should say this far, far, far more often.

Your experiences do not keep me sober. Your love does. You all make me feel worthwhile.

Thank you...well....thank you.

My thoughts with dear Susie and Monty today.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to all.
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Unread 05-30-2015, 12:33 PM   #2717
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Hi Tyrn...u help me keep sober....good day friend
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Unread 05-30-2015, 02:09 PM   #2718
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You sound good Tryn. Thanks for the uplift.
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Unread 05-30-2015, 10:04 PM   #2719
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I feel the same way like we are all sitting around a camp fire getting advice and telling stories with love. The fire is mesmerizing and it is hard to take our eyes off of it. We long for more and come back frequently to engage in the glimmer of hope again. This flickering fire represents a bond we share often for help in keeping us all safe and sober.
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Unread 05-31-2015, 04:30 AM   #2720
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Good morning everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

I Am Trying and R Lee, thank you.

Lost Dog what a beautiful, beautiful post. Thank you so much.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to all
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Unread 06-02-2015, 10:50 AM   #2721
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Tryn, Are you OK? Hugs!
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Unread 06-02-2015, 12:01 PM   #2722
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Tryn, how are YOU?
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Unread 06-02-2015, 10:15 PM   #2723
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Tryn,

Where are you? I need you. Love, Susie
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Unread 06-03-2015, 10:59 AM   #2724
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Hi Tyrn-- hope things are going well...have a great day friend...
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Unread 06-03-2015, 12:34 PM   #2725
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LOVE to you Tryn, pop by soon xx
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Unread 06-03-2015, 12:35 PM   #2726
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Good afternoon everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

Thank you, R Lee, Lost Dog, Susie and I Am Trying.

I am not alone in breathing in the toxicity that can make up a persons life. I have always assumed, to be sure, i never gave a flying hoot whether or not anothers physicality is/does/should do/doesn't/ooopss. ....or indeed falling clean off. The heart and soul....(as you know cricket is my religion)..........catches it. Those troubles.

Susie?....the journey to the gates....can have its morning, lunchtime and night time, with such sublime wisdom. The window of creation will visit you, and you know what?.....all you are, all you have been, reignites much like R Lee's wood burner in the morning.

Once we get our heads around there really is such a thing as "the march of time", we join the journey.

Not many march in time.......that is why life is so, so, quite marvelous.

We start out knitting a scarf, and end up with a jumper.

You know, after all this time, i still don't know how to "tell". I'm frightened.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to all.
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Unread 06-03-2015, 01:22 PM   #2727
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Tryn, I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what you just said. But it sure was pretty.

Much love to you, and thank you for posting. When it happens, even briefly, your absence leaves a big gap.
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Unread 06-03-2015, 04:18 PM   #2728
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Tryn, How are you doing? Think through that next urge. Hugs pal.
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Unread 06-03-2015, 06:14 PM   #2729
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Tryn, I hope you are doing well, How are you? tell us what is going on in your daily life as I'm accustomed to hearing if you can, I just want you to have a nice day!
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Unread 06-05-2015, 12:09 AM   #2730
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Tryn,

Stay in touch, please.
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Unread 06-05-2015, 12:20 AM   #2731
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You are the fabric that helps hold us all together.
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Unread 06-05-2015, 08:18 AM   #2732
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Tryn i miss you please post soon. Hope you and your family are all happy x
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Unread 06-05-2015, 02:19 PM   #2733
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ok, I will sing a song to get you back: "Oh where oh where has our Tryn been, Oh where oh where can he be?" I hope you see this and write soon as you laugh a little, miss you!
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Unread 06-05-2015, 02:57 PM   #2734
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Good evening everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

Millie, my R Lee, dear Lost Dog and Susie, and "what a fantastic life" is going to be had, by Alexis.

(Alexis.....just a couple of things to iron out.....and you're good to go. Never let anything take your eye off winning. Life will dictate what that means)

Millie, thank you. "Sure is pretty".....works. At first. Then, something has to be behind "sure is pretty". The passion that sleeps so soundly behind it all in most peoples souls, does not within this family. Millie, no one......hand on heart....has got an earthly what Tryn has....or is ever going on about, bu this family means to me....that i know what i am talking about, if no one else does. I have never been able to do that in my life. I have never turn round to me and asked me a question. I know alot about others, sort of next to zilch about myself.

R Lee, i can only think to write that i wish i was with you now.

Lost Dog, if i gave up all i am, simply to empower you to know who you actually are.....i would. I suppose we "all gotta find this shit out for ourselves"......but how i would like to help you on that way.

Dear Susie. Words for you at this time are hard to find. I shall try.

Love is a perfunctory word. It only means something to those that wish to give it, but have not yet. So do not know how, ....most do not know what it feels like when they have it.

Now you and Dear Monty have been together for what?.....a billion years?......"love", becomes like buying a pint of milk. There is a point where....."love"......is surely left in the shadows to ponder itself....while the rest of us crack on talking about adoration. Why do we not say we "adore".....and favour "love?"........because we can't show "adore"....we can only do it. Love is overpriced chocolate and flowers well past their sell by date.....when you have gone through that, not only will you go to the ends of the earth, and then bring back what you thought you should, that my dearest Susie, is "love".

Dear Monty is in the hands of another that is now at one with him. Like the beautiful vine around the trunk of such a splendid tree.....i promise i know where you are at. I love you dear Susie, as i do all my brothers and sisters here, i just know where you are at. My arms around you at this time.

Dear Alexis, now i'm going to be stern. Ears open....head up.

You are probably not old enough to know, (i am being patronizing.....let me go with it....makes me feel important), but a caught this rumour that, there is an awful lot about you. You feel sometimes like you are tumbling...uphill. That your moods like to tap dance their way through the day?......Any nails being hit?

I STRONGLY suggest you have a read "n" listen to R Lee, dear Saint and Sam. If you're looking for "saviour and God"......her name is Nancy. Listen to that lot of reprobates....job done.

For myself, i think it is easier to say it this way.

I am Tryn. I can do anything.......and everything in the right mood. (Alright my history suggests i can't, but who's quibbling?)...i have never thought anything else.

I do now.

As dearest Susie is going through.....you sit at the side of your loved ones and watch them wash away.

Even in my darkest moments i thought..."thank **** it's not me".

It could be construed i haven't had much luck on my journey. That is utter and total nonsense. The older i am allowed to be alive, the more i recognize that. Isn't it a shame when one does, is at a time when that "your own life" may be called into question?

Luck runs out for us all, i am finding out, it really doesn't matter who you are. I thought i was indestructible. I have now found out that indeed i am......oh yes........until i'm not.

This extremely tired boy, (crown court with my boy today......long story....he's out....so long as he stands on his head between....well 24 hours a day. I managed to convince a judge, who thankfully hadn't managed to get over last nights dinner, sheds loads of wine.....see even judges).....is going to take his tie and waistcoat off, and get ion the bloody bath!

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to all.
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Unread 06-05-2015, 03:23 PM   #2735
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Tryn,

I love you. I don't always get it, but I love you. Are you talking about your health? legal issues? life in general? all of the above?

I know exactly what you are saying to me. I get it. Thank you. Every word is precious.

Love, Susie
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Unread 06-05-2015, 03:57 PM   #2736
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Tryn,

I hear it in your voice. Thinking of you and standing by your side.

Peace,
Saint
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Unread 06-05-2015, 05:10 PM   #2737
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keep helping me Tryn, I still need it and thank you for all that you have done for me. Soooo Glad to hear form you , sorry about the court stuff. Have a restful nice day!
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Unread 06-05-2015, 05:16 PM   #2738
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Tryn thank you, i am hugging you right now. We love you.

Have you got some results from the tests the doctors ran? Is everything ok? Please let us know when you can. We care for you so much xx
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Unread 06-05-2015, 06:50 PM   #2739
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Tryn, You sound great. You had scared me this last week. Great news on your son's freedom. I hope he makes the best of it.
Hugs!!
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Unread 06-06-2015, 10:19 AM   #2740
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Oh, Tryn. I know how we love our sons. Yours has a second chance now, and so do you! I think that's what life is all
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Unread 06-07-2015, 11:11 AM   #2741
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Good afternoon everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

Susie, Saint, Lost Dog, Alexis and dear R Lee, thank you for your love.

I specially want to recognise the simple but dreadfully important post to me from dear Saint. Thank you Saint.

Yes indeed, after a journey in prison, and i might add, a terribly lucky boy to be granted his freedom early, albeit with many conditions, a now wise "Father", looks into his sons eyes when his son is not looking, to see if the glint of mischief still burns bright, or if a growing maturity empowers him to recognise the opportunity that liberty and freedom can bestow.

To have police officers off duty, to have "IMPACT" probation officers, (they deal with gangs), stand up in the dock and speak on behalf of my boy, is extremely unusual. As the IMPACT team said, and i quote, "as your Honour will know, we only usually stand before you to "breach", (which means they have not complied) our clients and we ask you to send that back to prison. On this occasion......." and so on.

As i said to him when we came out free, shame has a place for forgiveness and working to move forward with opportunity is the reward of learning to live life on life's terms. (I wonder where i heard that R Lee and dear Saint?)........

I did however make it abundantly clear that if he did not learn to live life on life's terms...he would be living it on "lifers" terms. And he sure won't like that.

A quite, quite splendid Sunday afternoon in dear old Blighty. It is warm and naughtily breezy. Outside my door i can look out to the trees and they are bursting with the music from birds far traveled. I see them on their respective branches swapping stories of their journeys.

Their hierarchy of branches really quite obvious if you look and listen hard enough. I'll explain.

On that branch is a clan of birds, another branch, another and so on. Well now you can here their natter......it goes like this......

"You alright down there you lot?" say the quite magnificent looking birds at the top...

"Where have you flown in from?"

There happens to be a "ragtailed bunch of dodgy looking birds".....(we have "misfits", they have "misflys")........

Now as they try and stand up straight on their branch, (huddled together because they have forgotten), eventually they say...."Ibiza"......

"Oh....and did you enjoy yourself?", (asked with trepidation)....

During the considered asking of the question 1 of the "Ibiza" birds has since departed from said branch, none of the other birds know quite where.

Now 1 of the Ibiza birds thinks in a moment of clarity to ask the birds on the top of the tree where they have come from.

"Well come up here....and we'll tell you"

Yes i am sure they are a friendly bunch. Sharing milk and sugar and whatnot. They often wake me in the summer morning with their constant "clattering" of teapots and teacups. I have written to B.I.R.D.S.....(Bringing Inspiration Regardless of Dutiful Sounds)........I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS.........

But all they send my are tweets.

Ohhhhh come on!!!!!!!

Anyhew.....i have moments in my life....it could be as long as a whole afternoon to indulge in what is so dreadfully important o me in my life. I have long sinced moved on from wondering how on earth i have come to arrive here....but i have, and from whence all those things as delicate as they may be, precious most certainly.

In my dear Country we lost a fmaous Politicain that was the leader of the Liberal Democrats. He died of alcoholism at 55. He stood down from the leader in 2006 because of how ill he had become.

Alaister Campbell is a spin Dr who was the driving force behind the Blair years including the WMD decisions in Iraq. He is also an alcoholic as he shared on a political program on the BBC this morning.

That is the background, what struck me was this.

He said, when love breaks down, when a relationship breaks up, when marriage fails, either side will find the worst they can in the other. They will seek out any tiny sinew to "prove" the other is quite reprehensible and ultimately splendidly awful.

Yet an alcoholic has a relationship with alcohol whereby when it "breaks down"....instead of deriding the stuff into oblivion.......alcoholics will find anything, anything they can to say...."nah, it's not that bad".

His friend (very influential) sorted out a rehab.....(dates+rates), .....but it was always, "i have this speech to do, i am in parliament, i have to.....".....

That is what alcoholics do. They will always have time for themselves, when there is no time left.

I have understood the selfishness of alcoholism. I have lived it. I have known the selfishness of addiction. I have also been guilty at times in my work of getting the balance of probability and possibility wrong.

Yes addiction is by default a "selfish" illness.....yet my experiences of my alcoholism and those i have known, the vast majority used alcohol to empower them to give so much to others.

I believe our journey together as a family is one that knows if we drink it will completely **** up our lives, and then kill us.

No you are not a weak person as much as a person with blindness, (i was with John who is totally blind with his dog...check this...Vogue. She is a beautiful bundle of black Labrador..... loveliness so she is), my journey with you all is to keep asking questions.

If there were answers none of us would be here. Others experiences, love, compassion, understanding and wisdom, enables to see hidden avenues, pathways covered in magic dripping with fuscia, our hearts become energised again. Our troubles do not go away, but we can, wherever we are in life, at whatever stage, always have tippy toes when no one is looking. When i know those Roses whom do not seem to have grown....just placed there for me, we all have dances in our hearts and souls.

My only sadness is that i can only dance with you all with words.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you all.
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Unread 06-07-2015, 02:53 PM   #2742
gmasusie
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Tryn,

Your words are like arms holding us; they are feet tiptoeing one minute and dancing the next; they are tears shed in empathy and compassion. Your words mean more to us than you will ever know.
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Unread 06-08-2015, 03:12 PM   #2743
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I wish so much that we could all sit down and have some tea together. I would have loved to hear the tweets joke in person.

And I like the blindness analogy a lot. Sobriety really can be like learning to see.

Thanks for letting us know how you're doing. I look forward to your posts.
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Unread 06-08-2015, 06:51 PM   #2744
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Nice to hear from you Tryn...have a good day friend..
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Unread 06-08-2015, 07:56 PM   #2745
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Time for bed, but just popping by to tell you we love you Tryn. Good night my friend xx
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Unread 06-09-2015, 04:17 PM   #2746
Tryntryagain
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Good evening everyone. Bright blessings to you all.

How quite lovely to touch someone, anyone, that makes a smile a reality, the fresh air of self confidence, (not to be confused with confidence).....the bombardment of...."i can", quite marvelously undertaken by "i will".

Bless you Millie, if you want the "tweet person"....look up, you will get a tree full of "flying folk" saying...."what u lookin' at?" (I have a rare "ear" to hear alsorts of things. I have heard a branch of misflys sucking their beaks.)

When I Am Trying writes on my thread i get this kinda....."well everything is going to be alright then". As much as Tryn waffles romantically how it could be, ...not quite the same is it?

I Am Trying. You are truly...ummm...err....truly. Thank you.

Susie, you know i can't reply to that. I love you, and all my brothers and sisters here. I do so, because here, love was teased out of me. Who i will one day be, was guided onto a path where i stand a chance now. When folk may say "age is a barrier", i do believe R Lee would swiftly kick me up the arse.

I rest my case.

Dear, dear Alexis....what are we going to do with you eh? A proper little bundle of whatnot's and neverminds.

I have a friend called Millie, that knows a thing or 2 about music. It is a language. I speak 5 languages verbally, and 48 languages with my eyes, and an infinate amouint with my fingers.

We have come to learn that a strength within us, has enabled us to "speak"....in our way. You will find your way Dear Alexis.

For me tonight, the company of my Saint and dear R Lee, would be more helpful than i can say.

My heart at this time belongs to Susie and Lost Dog as i feel they may feel their backs up against the wall. We are here to share, there is no wall.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you all
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Unread 06-09-2015, 05:55 PM   #2747
Alexis
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Thank you Tryn, i do hope so


I sense you may be struggling a little tonight? If so then i will send you even more love and happiness.

You remind me so so much of a man i used to know, a wonderful writer, an alcoholic, an inspiration to me, more than he will ever know. He taught me so much about myself, about art and literature.

Anyway, i hope your evening is filled with magic and peace xx
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Unread 06-09-2015, 06:18 PM   #2748
Tryntryagain
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Thank you dear Alexis....and bright blessings to you.

You remind me so much, so much, of an alcoholic i know, a wonderful writer, an inspiration to us all, more than she knows. She teaches us so much about ourselves.

Hmmmm?....wonder who that might be Alexis?

Now Tryn never finishes "top" at anything. That being said, i'm tops for knowing top people.

Be peaceful, be healing, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Alexis. Loveness to all.
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Unread 06-09-2015, 06:26 PM   #2749
Alexis
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Tryn ....

You make me smile so much! x
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Unread 06-09-2015, 11:09 PM   #2750
lostdog
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Hi Tryn, I'll be on an adventure volunteer trip and I will miss you. I hope each day is nice and I will be thinking and hoping you have peace each day in your life and feel love and happiness.
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