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Unread 11-15-2010, 12:27 AM   #1
raleigh
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Question scared to tell my sponsor im on suboxone

I've been struggling with heroin/opiate addiction for many years. I've been on suboxone for 5 months and have been involved in aa/na and am just starting 4th step. I've had the same sponsor for 1 1/2 years and I love her. She thinks suboxone should only be used for detox. My Dr. and I have been very pleased with my 5 months of continuous sobriety... thanks mostly to suboxone. I don't want my sponsor to drop me, and I don't want to bring it up in a mtg. I just found this site and hope it's as useful as it looks. I just feel that I'm carrying around this "secret".... as they say in mtgs, "you're only as sick as you're secrets." Anyone else feel like this?
I don't know if I did this right... I've never used a "chat room"
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Unread 11-15-2010, 01:02 AM   #2
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Hello raleigh and welcome.
 
You do not have to tell her or anyone about taking suboxone. Your medication and treatment is just between you and your doctor. That is one of the many wonderful things about it.
 
I would bet that 99% of the people in your group are suboxone patients! Many people have made the same choice of “not telling” to get the benefits of AA/NA and not suffer from the stigma of misunderstanding.
 
Your sponsor is not alone in her thinking. Its sad that that many people believe suboxone should be for “detox”, if you’re taking suboxone you’re not “clean”, “ substituting one drug for another” etc. That way of thinking will be over soon, in the meantime we have to tolerate people who still like to live in the dark ages.
 
I took suboxone and it saved my life. I quit on my own several times and always relapsed. Suboxone gave me the time to learn about my disease so I can live addiction free, today my addiction is in remission.
  
Congratulations on 5 months of being addiction free. Stick around and keep posting. There are a bunch of wonderful people here.
 
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Unread 11-15-2010, 07:08 AM   #3
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Hi raleigh, welcome. I posted this to Jess372 a couple of weeks ago, and thought I'd copy it here:


Quote:
Originally Posted by NancyB View Post
Hi Jess372, you do not have to tell anything about your MEDICAL treatment to anyone you choose not to. That should be between your doctor and you. Period.

Many people do not realize that addiction is behavior - the uncontrollable, compulsive behavior despite negative consequences. Taking a medication as prescribed is NOT being addicted or not 'clean' as they put it.

Is your life better since Suboxone? Have you been engaging in uncontrollable compulsive behavior despite negative consequences since Suboxone? That's all that matters. Your quality of life while taking a medication as prescribed.

Share what YOU CHOOSE to share. They are not doctors, they are not treating you medically, it really is none of their business what you are prescribed and are taking responsibly.

Your addiction is in remission and that's what matters. Congratulations!!

Nancy
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=25450

It's not a "secret". It's a medical condition for which you are getting proper medical treatment. It is no one's business what medical conditions you are being treated for. Period.

Congratulations on 5 months of addiction remission!

Nancy
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Unread 11-15-2010, 09:33 AM   #4
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Unless your sponsor is your personal physician (that would be a poor situation, indeed), you medications are not their business.
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Unread 11-15-2010, 10:13 AM   #5
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Get writng that fourth!

It is a moral inventory but I wrote mine in a bio-like fashion with 5 year increments.

Here's the rub, the inventory must be "Everything" that you did and everything that causes anger, fear or resentment. I feel you must share this with your sponsor as it is a tool in your recovery. Same with pain patients-share that you use narcotics if that is the case.

We cannot keep stuff hidden, it will backfire but the real reason is complete trust in God.
We live the steps with faith. This faith means we trust the most important person in uour recovery-a sponsor! If we do not trust him or her, then get one you do. A fifth step is a trust, a trust that nothing of your 4th will be revealed.

I've heard rather harsh stuff in my fifth step's with sponsee's and have never broken that trust.

A sponsor must be open minded and accept all of the sponsee. Maybe share this over coffee and be armed with info so the sponsor will understand. If she is not accepting of your sub use, move on as "She" is not living the steps or traditions (we have no opinion on outside issues)
Scary? yeah of course but if getting sober was easy, we'd have been sober years ago!

Please this is your life! remember this will be between her and you-no need to tell others. Your sponsor must know all of you.

Take the leap of faith!

God bless

Glen
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Unread 11-15-2010, 10:29 AM   #6
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Sorry, I re-read your post and it seems your sponsor is set against sub except for detox.

As you love her, you as I said above must attempt to set her straight. If you fail, then it was not mean't to be. Please refer to the tradition (do not have a 12/12 nearby) that clearly states we have no opinion on outside issues and this is a medical one) Now if she still insists on "control" by dropping you or making you wait to do a fourth, then action must be taken. Why? Because she is not living the steps and traditions or slogans.

Believe me I was much the same as her but after years of recovery (23) I've opened my mind quite a bit.

Face the fear and tell her. Leave the outcome in God's hands. If it is negative, then good! Move on and keep her as a friend if you love her. If she is ok with it, then what were ya worrying for? lol

This is about trust my friend not the sub. You will hear crap in AA, seperate the wheat from the chaff. If folks put you down, that is shame on them. Your skin will grow thicker as you practice the steps and resentments will become a teaching aid.

I have a saying that some hate but I feel is very true "Resentments are the building blocks of sobriety" Why? we grow when we have to forgive and self examine.
We can become so darn spiritual (I'm not there yet lol) that we actually welcome a "slight" as it gives us the chance to forgive. As the prayer says "Forgive us AS we forgive"

ok maybe I'm getting ahead of the situation but I felt a need to cover all bases when you share this "secret"

Best of luck my friend. I know I'm in the minority here but also know I have many years of expirence as a sponsor as well as sponsee

Glen
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Unread 11-15-2010, 01:49 PM   #7
toms
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There is nothing that says our 4th step needs to be shared with our sponsor. Actually, step 4 is simply the writing of the inventory, then step 5 calls us to "admit to God, to ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs". One *could* choose to do this with their sponsor, but certainly doesn't have to.

Taking this further, what is wrong about being on suboxone? Nothing! So why would talking about it even be a consideration? The OP already knows the sponsor has an entrenched negative opinion of suboxone, so choosing to reveal the medical history is inviting conflict, for no good reason.

I believe in the "we're only as sick as our secrets" line....but there is a big difference between secrecy and privacy!
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Unread 11-15-2010, 03:13 PM   #8
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Raleigh~
Welcome and congrats on the 5 months! You've gotten good info from both sides, and I think it's your decision from here obviously! I can agree with both sides, and truly believe that this IS a medical condition in which you are getting treatment for, and with that being said, you don't HAVE to tell anyone else about you being on Sub if you don't want to.

With that being said, if this is going to weigh on you and you truly feel it's a secret and wont feel right without sharing this with your sponsor, then you are going to have to figure out the pro's and con's of including this into your 4th and 5th step and sharing it with your sponsor. In my opinion, you aren't doing anything wrong by taking Suboxone, and you have said yourself how much it's helped you to get thru this past 5 months. Has your sponsor flat out asked you if you're on Suboxone and you've had to lie about it? If that's the case, then I can see how you feel it's a secret and have lied about it, and then maybe you should consider including it into your 4th and then 5th step. I think this is all about how you feel you should handle it. We are all different in our way of thinking and the way we work the program if that's the route we chose to help us continue to grow and overcome our disease. I think that you have to look at the situation as a whole and see what you come up with from there. Maybe write about it and what you really think/feel and then conclude how you're going to handle it. I agree with Cally tho, there are many people in the program who are on Suboxone and have choosen to keep that medical info to themselves! Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
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Unread 11-16-2010, 10:43 AM   #9
theswan
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We do not have to do anything! the steps are but suggestions, However, your sponsor takes you through the maze of recovery and needs to know what is on you mind as far as fears, resentments etc.

I have a great opinion on suboxone. However, I lemy sponsor know no problem
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Unread 11-16-2010, 10:54 AM   #10
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Sorry but I was rushed as I use a library's computer and was short on time.

This will be my last post on the subject as I do not want to push my view; just give my expirence.

I got sober in a group that had much peer pressure. If we were on our fourth step, others would, in good nature, shove pens and pencils at us (to hasten our progress) This was done in jest but behind it was earnest concern. The 4th is the template of the next few steps and is extremely important. A sponsor learns from this written "log" who is owed amends, character defects to be worked upon in the 6th and 7th steps. We also as the book says "get all the imformation we can on the man (woman)" This is not to berate them but instead to learn the patterns of behavior that led to "slips" Of course one can get a priest or rabbi to hear the 4th but will they follow you? A sponsor will at least for the first year, be on the phone or at meetings with you.

So yes in a real liberal way, one needs do nothing but trust in a higher power of some liking to get sober. I'd perfer to do it as countless others have done before me.

Tell the truth when you are ready. Let God decide the outcome.

God bless (enough said lol)

Glen

Last edited by theswan; 11-16-2010 at 10:56 AM.. Reason: speeeling
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Unread 11-16-2010, 11:05 AM   #11
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lol Glen, my sponsor calls me every day and asks if I've started my fourth step yet. I finally got to tell her "YES" yesterday!
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Unread 11-16-2010, 11:15 AM   #12
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The steps are "suggested" in much the same way a cardiologist may "suggest" medications.....the patient may choose not to take them, but is that a smart move?
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Unread 11-16-2010, 12:38 PM   #13
raleigh
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Thanks. I do feel in my heart I need to tell her before we get any further along. I understand and also agree with what I take as prescribed is between my Dr. and myself. My family and husband know I see my Dr., and are really pround of me. Ive been in and out of aa/na for over 10 years, and I think the best thing for me is to let my sponsor know. I just don't like how I feel when I'm "totally honest" with her, but am holding the suboxone back. S0.... thanks to everyone who replied. I really like this site!!
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Unread 11-16-2010, 10:53 PM   #14
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Raleigh~
Just wanted to touch on your last post...IF you don't like how you feel when you are "totally" honest with her, then why put yourself in that situation? I don't see anything wrong with you keeping your medical treatment to yourself and those you feel comfortable sharing it with. Again, this is up to you, and if it's going to bring you more stress and unhappy, then maybe you should get this off your chest and out in the open with her. Do you feel like you are doing the wrong thing with being on the Suboxone? Are you ashamed of your treatment option you've choosen and all the progress you've made thus far? I wish you luck with whatever decision you do make, but remember that you are doing this for you, so you should do what is most comfortable to you...many people in the program chose to keep Suboxone to themself, but that doesn't mean you're going to relapse or something terrible will happen. You can evern consider your doctor your "sponsor" when it comes to your Suboxone since you are most open with she/he about your use with the Suboxone and they are the one guiding you thru that part of your treatment and recovery. Good luck and I hope it goes well!
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Unread 11-17-2010, 11:08 AM   #15
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Hey raleigh. I think the title of your thread tells it all. "scared to tell my sponsor im on suboxone"

So don't. You're not lying or anything. She's got no business knowing what medication you take. You already told everyone you're good with telling. You got 5 good months. I wouldn't risk someone who thinks sub is only good for detox telling you what to do with your medical treatment. That's just me though.

Positive energy! -Mary
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Unread 11-17-2010, 01:42 PM   #16
raleigh
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Thanks for the advice. That's a good point Mary... if she doesn't react the way I want her to react than I could be putting myself and my stability in jeopardy. It's only been 5 months this time around, and things are slowly getting better and I don't want to ruin that. I think what's different this time is that I'm taking my sub as prescribed AND involved in aa/na. When I've tried to stay sober in the past I either just did mtgs or just took suboxone...and haven't been able to stay clean for more than 30 days (except for being in treatment centers)...until now. So, why screw up something good..right?
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Unread 11-17-2010, 02:57 PM   #17
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Maja

Good for you keep writing.

We cannot perdict the way people will react-that is why we tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may. Keep sub use to yourself save for the most important person in recovery-your sponsor.

I'm done walking on eggshells to keep the peace.

Good luck in either case but please pray on it-it is life and death

Glen
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Unread 11-17-2010, 06:34 PM   #18
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I would think the most important person involved with someones recovery would be themself. Steve

Last edited by stp747; 11-17-2010 at 06:38 PM..
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Unread 11-18-2010, 12:06 PM   #19
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"Self" got us in trouble in the first place. We need a "power" greater then "self" to get sober. Since God is very busy and talks to few, a sponsor will do as a guide. much like Catholic's use a priest rather then just saying their sin's direct to God.

"Whose sin's you forgive are forgiven" (the basis of the power granted to the apostolic lineage)

Just had to clear that up.

To ouote the big book "We must get rid of self or it kills us; God makes that possible"

Hope that clears it up. However, if you are an RR or a Athesist, then yes please rely on "self".

Glen

Last edited by theswan; 11-18-2010 at 12:07 PM.. Reason: grammer
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Unread 11-18-2010, 12:15 PM   #20
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Thanks freeglen, I will keep on writing. I feel like I never have time. I know, I know, MAKE TIME. I got about 1.5 hours on Sunday, that was nice. I'm usually such a kid-hog that even when my daughter is spending time with her father, I tag along, and we all do stuff together, even tho it's supposed to be "their time". My husband of course does not complain that I tag along, but I think that I really need to let go a little, and take some time for myself.
Sometimes, it is impossible, if he has to work the weekend or something. He occasionally gets some side work for the weekend, and then I have no choice but to take her to my Sunday morning meeting with me, which she does really well at, but that time after the meeting while she's usually still with her daddy is when I usually get to spend time doing stepwork.
I'm rambling, sorry.
Everyone have a wonderful day, just for today.
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Unread 11-18-2010, 03:18 PM   #21
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Hey Raleigh, A lot of sponsors will tell their sponsees that they're not clean if they're Taking bup.........remember that the goal isn't to be 'clean', but to be addiction free. I really hate these sponsors "preaching" to people about who is clean and who isn't,especially the ones that are doing so as they're puffing on a cancer stick,which by the way, is the most addictive drug on the planet. Freakin hypocrites. You don't need to tell them anything about your medications. Congrats on your 5 months. That's really great!! That can feel like eternity in addict-land. :-)

Scott
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Unread 11-18-2010, 04:22 PM   #22
willard47
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What's an RR??
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Unread 11-18-2010, 05:04 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by willard47 View Post
What's an RR??
Hi Willard, I think he's referring to Rational Recovery, here's the link.
https://rational.org/index.php?id=1
They don't have meetings or anything but believe in self-recovery through planned, permanent abstinence.

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Unread 11-18-2010, 06:42 PM   #24
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I am relying on your so called "self" and am doing great. What works for you (religion/AA) does not work for all. Steve
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Unread 11-18-2010, 09:31 PM   #25
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Thanks Nancy, I should have known what RR was. I went to a few "meetings" when they used to have them in Palm Springs. I liked the concept especially in regard to keeping score about your sobriety. I've seen so many go down the drain because they had a drink or drug and lost their"clean time" Then they went back out thinking they lost everything and really got messed up.I believe like RR to get over it and continue to live like you did before that slip. Willard PS I did read "The Small Book".......
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Unread 11-19-2010, 08:44 AM   #26
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......do what you feel is right in your heart..keep the faith and I told my sponsor.
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Unread 11-19-2010, 04:49 PM   #27
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I was not trying to say one needs God or self etc. Do what blows up ya skirt!

However, the poster here is in AA not RR nor has it been said that the poster is not a believer. The factis Raliegh has completed a 3rd step so I have to take that to mean she has come to believe in a power greater then ones' self.

So again I say, I do not knock any way a fellow sufferer gets to become sober. No I am very happy as we all know the hell of addiction.

But if one wants to do the AA steps, it is best to believe in them, don't you think?
Part and parcel of AA is the "God stuff" we are asked in our outline for sobriety, the big book, to believe in a power greater then ones self. We are asked to lose our selves in service to others. It is however very liberal. In fact one can choose their own conception of a power greater then themselves. Whatever you want it to be. You education perhaps that gave you all this knowledge, or the universe, or a tree whatever as long as it is not ones self.

So glad self has worked for you-keep it up. For me and countless others, we choose the God route. For that i will never stop trying to help others make the correct choice.
The book says 'we stress the God idea, we never shy away from talking about how we recovered.

Lastly, I have sposored a atheisist who is still sober. He had no problem with finding a power outside of himself. He never did name it and I never asked!

I pray Raliegh does the right thing for her

Glen

Last edited by theswan; 11-19-2010 at 04:50 PM.. Reason: grammer
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Unread 11-20-2010, 05:21 PM   #28
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Raliegh~
How's it going? I hope all is well and you are happy with whatever path you've chosen to take! You know what YOU need and that's what you deserve!
Trina
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Unread 11-23-2010, 05:38 PM   #29
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Yeah. Kinda curious what path you choose. I will not be down on you if you did not choose to tell her.

I was just so terrified of ever drinking again that I'd risk anything to get sober. (I drank heavy for 20 years and felt like death warmed over)

God bless and good luck Raliegh

Glen
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Unread 11-23-2010, 08:17 PM   #30
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I'm going to jump in here because as an old previous member of AA I hold them in high regard. But even 20 years ago we had this same problem with antidepressants. The oldtimers freely spoke up and judged those taking anything at all, all the while they smoked up a storm and drank coffee by the gallon. And yes, we lost several members to depression just so they can be "drug free"......it was bull****

This time around I'm not so sure I will go the AA route. Been tossing it around since I got on Sub six months ago. Still may go but won't say anything about the Sub until I'm ready or maybe even off it completely. The jury is still out.

Bottom line, do what you think is best. And if you tell your sponsor and they say to get off the Sub? Do some hard thinking about that. There are a lot of success stories here because they took the time to build up a lifestyle of recovery. Not everyone is same. We choose our own path, whatever it may be.

I wish you well on your decision to speak up.

Tom
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Unread 05-14-2011, 03:37 PM   #31
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Never did find out what was done-tell or not tell

kinda like the end of theSopranos lol

Glen
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Unread 04-10-2012, 11:16 PM   #32
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I'm also afraid to tell my sponsor about my suboxone experience. I'm not on it right now (11 days off), but I still feel the shame, guilt, and the "secret". Mostly because I felt like suboxone was a drug for me the way alcohol was and the way heroin would be if I ever tried it (I don't plan to). I know that is not everyone's experience, but suboxone changed my personality, my mood, my behavior.
There's so much pressure to have "time" in those programs and I just don't want to give up my "time". Would it give me an excuse to drink? Would I just give up on life? Would it help? I don't know. Would I be alienated, judged, and given critical stares? I'm sure that some would. Some wouldn't.
I like AA for the most part. Nothing is perfect and neither are people. Just try to find the ones you like and fit your values. They're the ones that will help save you in moments of despair.
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Unread 05-26-2012, 07:10 PM   #33
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Hi Philip, the best to you. I've had a fair amount of time with AA and the way they keep score is disgusting. i think it's a good idea to get to know people and then you will find out about their length and quality of sobriety. I can remember going to beginners meetings and some of these people actually had seats that were not only in front but higher than most of the seats in the room. Talk about self-centered ego,. I know at least 2 of them that have gone back out with more than 10 years so-called sobriety. Real sober people don't need to do this. Please don't worry about subs, they are are dr. prescribed and that is ok.
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Unread 06-24-2012, 05:09 PM   #34
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Yeah, keeping score is really overrated, but it's only when I don't measure up to my peers that it bothers me! If I had 10 years, I probably wouldn't think that way. I can see how having time and celebrating it is an effective means to keep someone clean and sober, but it doesn't necessarily mean they are sane or have good recovery. I mean, so many people in AA end up turning to food as their new addiction - it's interesting to watch as people kind of blow up after quitting alcohol or drugs. But, many don't.
Yeah, doctor prescribed, but honestly, subs seriously wrecks my emotional state - I may as well be drinking or using crack. It f***s me up that bad. It may be only a partial opiate agonist, but for me, it is still an opiate and has the same detrimental effect on my personality and mental state. I do things I am definitely not proud of on sub - like stealing, stupid revenge games and retaliatory mean behavior.
So, I'm resetting my clock. I wouldn't feel right if I didn't.
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Unread 06-24-2012, 07:25 PM   #35
PrincessDi
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All I can say is this is between you and God....There are a few things in life that cant be repeated or possibly forgotten ....I know there are things that I havent spoken to my sponcor about but I do know that God knows and he still loves me no matter i forgot or cant remember things or if I keep it to myself...So remember just be true to yourself and if you feel lost go outside and look up in the clouds....GODS THERE LISTENING....Take care and remember one day at a time......Di....
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Unread 10-16-2012, 01:55 PM   #36
jtt77
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I have also been debating this same question with myself recently. Do I tell my sponsor or not? I also just finished writing a 4th step and am preparing to share it. Take a minute to read on, and hopefully it will help you make your decision as it did for me.

I chose to go to AA meetings, rather than NA. I am also an alcoholic, but that is not my sole reason for going to AA. NA in my area is flooded with court ordered people (sometimes known as 'being on a slip'). A lot of the city AA meetings are filled with the same people. This makes it rather difficult to go into a meeting and find people who are there for the right reasons. Fortunately for me, there are plenty of AA meetings outside of the city. Unfortunately for NA, there are not many meetings outside of the city. The result is a very unbalanced group of people in the majority of the NA meetings.

Before I get too far off topic, one thing I learned by going to AA through practicing acceptance and turning my will over was that I am still responsible for anything that is humanly possible. Everything else, the impossible, I leave up to my higher power. One thing that I am extremely grateful for is that it is now humanly possible to remove the cravings and my ability to easily get high. (I know you can break through suboxone, it just isn't as easy as buying a cheap bag of dope) By taking my medication on a daily basis, I no longer get the cravings and I know that it would be very difficult to get high.

The hard part for me is becoming a better person. Behaving properly. Maintaining healthy relationships with people. Learning to be patient, tolerant, accepting, kind, loving, honest. These things, on my own are IMPOSSIBLE. There is not a pill I can take that does any of that for me. That is where my reliance on a higher power and the process of the steps comes into play. Putting my trust into the program, and believing it will help me become a better person (which, after all is what it is all about. even the literature preaches to us that drugs and alcohol were but a symptom of a bigger problem).

My problem is I don't know how to live. Taking suboxone does not fix that. Taking suboxone gives me the ability to learn how. And the program teaches me how.

This thinking falls right in line with the principles of the program. Plenty of alcoholics over the years have used Antabuse to help them stop drinking. Many take it for extended periods of time to safeguard against a relapse.

For me suboxone works. I personally don't care what people think about me. Suboxone combined with AA have worked for me in the past. I stopped taking suboxone and it wasn't long before I was high. I either wasn't ready, or it wasn't time for me. I would have no problem with dissolving a strip under my tongue until the day I die if that is what it takes for me to be a person my daughters can look at and see superman. I don't believe that is what it will take, but I know as long as I do today what I did yesterday I have a real good shot at laying my head down tonight and going to sleep clean, sober, with a little bit of dignity and self respect.

God Luck
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Unread 10-17-2012, 04:26 AM   #37
Brooklyyn
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Hi, my name is Brooke and I'm an addict.

Thanks for sharing everyone!

That was awesome jtt77! I really enjoyed reading that. It was right on in every way. Sorry to hear that your NA Groups weren't meeting your needs but I'm glad you found what you were looking for in AA.

To follow up on the original reason of this thread: After a few months, I did tell my sponser while we and most of our NA Group were at our yearly regional NA Convention and after hearing how we are only as sick as our secrets for the hundreth time. I thought I was doing the right thing and it would make me feel better. It didn't and I wish I hadn't told her. Her sponser was there too and she asked me if it was ok if she discussed it with her and I said sure, because I trusted her and afterall, she was also my gransponser. They didn't tell anyone else in our group but they also didn't consider me completely clean after. She told me I couldn't work any of my steps nor could she go over any of them with me either. It hurt my feelings big time, especially since I was so involved and so excited about everything. She told me she didn't want me sharing at the meetings, only to listen, and only when I stopped taking Suboxone, I could share, start working my steps, and pick up clean time key tags. Everything else was the same except there was no recognition from her when I reached certain clean time dates like 30, 60, 90, 6 months and so on, I couldn't work my steps with her, and I couldn't share at the meetings. She was still my sponser and I could still go to the meetings, the business meetings, conventions, and even go out to eat with the group on the weekends or whenever. She encouraged me to stop taking the Suboxone several times and since she's a Registered Nurse, she felt like she was giving me the best and most educated advice in regards to everything. My sponser and gransponser was still nice to me and the group acted completely normal since they didn't know anything but I always wished I hadn't said anything about it because deep down, I could tell she looked at me differently. I thought telling her and my gransponser would make me feel better by being open and honest but it didn't. I remember leaving our NA Convention that night and thinking how badly I wish I hadn't opened my mouth the whole ride home and even to this day. I really liked her a lot and mostly tried pleasing her but I realize now that even if others don't agree with my approach and my process, this way works for me and that's all that counts. I'm still another day clean and am in the tapering process now. I really enjoy going to NA Meetings and I really love the group that I'm a part of, well most of them anyway, lol. It's really a tough situation to be in when you're attending NA Meetings and you have a sponser and you're taking Suboxone but in my opinion, there is no wrong answer here. I can understand my sponser and NA's perspective on truly being honest and clean in order to completely participate and receive the full benefits of the program and continue to stay clean and I can also understand someone taking Suboxone, such as myself, and using that as a tool to continue to stay clean as well. Unless NA changes their views anytime soon, I'll have to wait until I'm completely off the Suboxone to completely participate in the program with my sponser so until then, I'm using my NA books and this website to study the 12 steps and use this as my support group as well. Best of luck to everyone and love to all!
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Unread 10-17-2012, 04:09 PM   #38
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Need to know basis is what I believe. I also believe a sponsor should know. What is more important is how sober the sponsor is and that should become clear once you share the 'secret' of sub use.

A sober sponsor would support you no matter his/her opinion of sub is. Unless they are addiction doctors, they should have no say in the matter other then to see how it may effect you. If I sponsored someone on suboxone and they came to meetings, helped with the set up and cleanup and carried a sober message, what then is the issue? I have heard NA is different but AA's traditions state that this is an outside issue that has no place in an AA meeting.

Therefore my mantra on sub use is this: "Self disclose if it may serve to help someone and self disclose to your sponsor (he/she should know as much about you as they can) If it does not work out, then that was not the right person to sponsor you because they are not working the traditions one must practice in service to AA

Just if it will help others, not for you to change AA by adding a new step (step 1A 'We will use suboxone if we also are addicts to opioid meds" Lol

I know it is hard to keep one's mouth shut

Glen
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Unread 10-18-2012, 03:40 AM   #39
Brooklyyn
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You know, it frustrates me that some of the people in NA think of addicts that take Suboxone as taking the easy road. I'm basing this mostly off of what my sponser said to me also. In my opinion, taking Suboxone is not the easy road. This journey I'm on is definitely not easy by far and just bc I'm using Suboxone as a tool to stay clean doesn't make it any easier by any means. Yes, it helps but just bc I didn't lay in bed and suffer through crappy withdrawals doesn't make me better or worse. It just means I chose a different path to stop using and abusing opiates. I can respect her perspective but I feel she's being a bit too harsh by not considering any other way. She feels Suboxone use is only ok when using it in a detox environment for a week to two weeks maybe but that's it. That's what she did at Bradford. So in fact, she didn't even go through the crappy withdrawals one goes through when stopping cold turkey yet she has a harsh opinion about Suboxone for some ungodly reason. When she became my sponser, she had about 2 years clean bc I remember our homegroup celebrating her 2 year mark. Now she has about 3 years or so. And she doesn't just have clean time, she has recovery time as well bc she does work the program. But still, I don't agree with her opinion in regards to Sub use. It's very confusing and very frustrating and ever since I told her the "truth", it's made me second guess myself, Suboxone along with other things. I'm still going to continue to take Suboxone to help myself stay clean from abusing opiates but it still leaves me wondering all the time. *sighs* I just wish people were more accepting and understanding and would realize that everybody's situation is different and sometimes needs to be handled differently. Hey, an addict can dream, right?

Last edited by Brooklyyn; 10-18-2012 at 03:47 AM..
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Unread 11-15-2012, 05:36 PM   #40
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Default sponsor? really!

Wow, I thought those of us in AA and NA are supposed to be very open minded. I would rather have a sponsor with 1 year of quality time and an intellectual open-mindness than one with 25 years with a closed head. I had a sponsor dump me after I made the mistake of being "honest". Screw him!
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