Addiction Survivors


Unread 10-16-2007, 02:42 AM   #1
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Posts: 6
Default new here looking for support

an intro of sorts:
I am a 30 year old mother of an 8yo girl and a 5yo boy. Full time student. Happily married for 11 years. For my entire life I have suffered from chronic depression, which after the birth of my children began to cycle at an increasingly rapid pace. I tried every antidepressant on the market, they all had tons of side effects, but my depression remained the same. As things got worse and worse I began to experiment with opiates. Amazing! I was feeling great, tons of energy, and life was great. For a while. And however many years later, here I am. Having the worst depression of my life. Doing waaay too many pills just not to get sick. At the end of my rope. My husband is fed up. My kids miss me. I am not doing well in school. I am ready to be done, but every time I quit I get suicidal. Panic Attacks. Nonstop crying for days on end. Puking.

The bottom line is, I have been looking for help with my depression for so long, and I know that the depression is what led me to my opiate use/abuse. There is tons of research out there that says that Sub can have a tremendous effect on treatment resistant depression as well as helping me with my opiate problem.

I kind of feel like this is my last chance or something. I have tried so many things. This feels like hope. The program consists of 3 visits a week; 3 urine tests, 2 counseling visits, and a treatment visit to assess medication issues and such. My program will be one year at minimum (with the counseling, urine tests, and treatment visits) and possibly lifetime maintenance (medication only), we'll just have to see how it goes, and how the suboxone affects my depression. If that can go away I will stay on forever! All of the people I have met so far at the clinic have been incredible, inspiring and hopeful. I didn't get any of the attitude that I was expecting (who knows why I thought that?) I am truly hopeful for the first time in a long long time.

So, yeah. I am beginning my suboxone induction on Wed. Feeling kinda crazy at the moment. Excited, hopeful, nervous, I have a giant knot in my stomach. If you all wouldn't mind sharing some stories with me about getting started, tips, etc... I would really appreciate it. I am feeling a bit alone at the moment. Thanks in advance...
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Unread 10-16-2007, 03:10 AM   #2
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good luck! I think you'll find the sub helps with the depression. Let us know how your induction goes.
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Unread 10-16-2007, 09:38 AM   #3
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WELCOME Solstice, so gald u found us and congrats to you on your decision. You are not alone and we've all felt exactly the same way as you when we first started. Although very emotional, my induction was very smooth and I immediately began to feel better (I was on methadone for 9 very long years). I thought the hardest part was not being able to take anything so I tried to sleep through it. Steaming hot tubs helped too.

You can do this! Keep reaching out for support and let us know how you make out. We are all here for you!! Good luck! c
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Unread 10-16-2007, 10:13 AM   #4
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Welcome solc
What amount of opiates have you been using? Sub works for many but not all unfortunatly in controlling depression.Have you been to Frozens website? (I think,someone will paste a link) .It is a wealth of info concerning opiates/sub and depression,check it out. Good luck.
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Unread 10-16-2007, 10:36 AM   #5
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Hi solstice and welcome. Here are a few links for you.
"Ignorance Kills: Depression, Endorphins & Sub 101" by Frozen

Frozen's blog of which Bill wrote:

And our precipitated withdrawal sheet. Please read this for important information prior to your induction.
The times listed are guidelines as you know best about your withdrawals.

Congratulations on your appointment tomorrow. Please let us know if you have any questions.
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Unread 10-16-2007, 11:49 AM   #6
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Hey solstice, do you know if you're starting sub at the doctors or are you getting a script and bringing it home? Either way, you have to be in mild to moderate withdrawals. Not puking wds, doesn't have to be that bad. Read that link above that Nancy posted. Explains it.

As for me, I've been off of sub for 1 year and 4 months. Man, how time flies. I was on it for a year. So, my induction gig may be a little off. But this is pretty much what happened. I snorted H for the most part of 20 years, just so you know. Annnnnyways. I was paranoid and waited 24 hours before I started, so I was in pretty rough shape. The doctor gave me 4mg, I felt a whole lot better in about 20 minutes, he gave me another 4, what a difference. I can't remember if I took another 8 when I got home or the next day. It's been so long. In any event, I took a long walk when I got home, that's how good I felt. I could have worked, but didn't feel like it (I work for myself anyways, so I couldn't get in trouble with the boss, well, maybe I could, lol). I stayed 16 for 2 or 3 months and naturally began to lower my dose when I'd forget to take it. Then almost a year to the day later, I was completely done.

My taper was slow and steady, especially at the end. I took 2 months to go from 2 to 0. It worked really well. I didn't have much in the way of wds, actually I felt way better than if I had a cold/flu.

Stay positive, exercise, eat right, stay hydrated (you forgot that one Nancy, ha ha ha). You'll be fine. This is the start of a whole new gig for you.
Big positive energy beams to you! -Mary
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Unread 10-16-2007, 12:25 PM   #7
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Greetings Solstice!

So many of us have similar experiences - particularly as it regards opiates and depression. You've come to the right place for love, support and understanding. Sub can be extremely effective for those of us who've been on the conventional AD merry go round with little to no success.

If you haven't done so already - you may wish to speak with the clinicians about starting off with Buprenorphine (Subutex) as opposed to Suboxone (Buprenorphine/Naloxone). Some people report troublesome side effects with the Naloxone. Unfortunately, this leads some to conclude that Buprenorphine is of no value.

Good Luck - and please keep us posted as to your progress!


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Unread 10-16-2007, 02:08 PM   #8
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Yes, it will be buprenoprhine only, not suboxone, sorry. So today I am just trying to keep myself comfortable. No more after 6 pm... I will be here later with an update, but right now I have to get the kids off to school. Thanks for all of the support.
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