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Unread 03-24-2011, 04:43 PM   #8
vhappy
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Posts: 2,121
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LilMama,
Welcome, glad you found a place where you are comfortable. I read thru your story, and it is really quite typical of a user non user relationship. Have you ever thought of al-non? The most important thing is that you live your life, regardless of what he is doing. We end up tying to help, but our best efforts turn into en-abeling without the intent. Suboxone really helped me and so many others. It allows us to not use or have withdrawl while we work on ourselves.

Suboxone alone is not recovery. He needs a good recovery plan. I am in recovery from opiates myself. The suboxone helped with the withdrawl/crave part. But I had to do all the other work, and really want this for myself. My daughter was also in recovery and has done great. She finally did it, when we cut her off completly, letting her know, when she got serious about help, we would be there for her 100%. She arranged her own rehab and did not call until she was there. She had no money, no job and no place to live for several months. She now tells us, that was the very best thing we ever did for her. This is his problem not yours, unless you make it yours. As long as it is not his problem and his alone, he will not deal with it. Look how good he did when you first met and he was trying to keep his problem a secret. He did what he needed to do. This is a disease and is progressive without the proper treatment. Sadly if we could quit for love, we would. We can't quit on our own for anything, not even to save our own life. Set boundries and stick to them.

I know this is hard, put your focus on your family and yourself. When he see's how serious you are, perhaps he will be serious.

Good Luck,

vhappy
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